How Masturbation Can Help You Reach Orgasm With a Partner
Masturbation isn’t just fun for yourself (although, let’s be honest, it’s fun, too). You can also use what you’ve learned alone to have more pleasure (and more orgasms) with your partner. Let’s talk about how!
Train your clitoris to be more responsive
The clitoris is extremely sensitive and, in fact, can be “trained” to orgasm through various types of stimulation. If you want your partner to be able to bring you to orgasm when you are together, you can try exposing your clitoris to a wider range of sensations during masturbation. The more ways you learn to achieve orgasm, the easier it will be to achieve it with a partner.
As with male masturbation, there are endless ways to masturbate. A ride down the rabbit hole on the Internet brings up suggestions that require everything from clay sculpting to turkey beads to Mardi Gras, but there are more tips available on this Reddit thread . Here are some simple things to try:
- Try new touches.
- Change the speed or pressure you normally use.
- Use a different number of fingers.
- Take on new body positions. On the stomach or on all fours are popular with many women.
- Rub on soft objects such as pillows or blankets, or hard objects such as the heel or edge of a table.
- Use a hand shower or bath mixer.
Having a proven method is great, but learning new ways to please yourself can be a lot of fun.
If you find it difficult to switch to a new technique, there are several things you can try. First, try alternating between the old backup technique and the new technique of your choice, with cycles of one or two minutes. Try to approach the brink of orgasm with your usual method, and then move on to a new one at the last possible second. Every time you do this exercise, try to lengthen the time you spend with the new technique. Another way to do this is to switch to cold turkey according to your usual routine. The realization that you cannot rely on Old Faithful can give you more motivation to get it to work with a new technique.
Show your partner how to do it.
Don’t be shy about your masturbation habits! If you want your partner to bring you to orgasm, the best thing you can do is show your partner how you masturbate. Women who masturbate on their belly or rub against objects tend to be a little more embarrassed to masturbate in front of their partners than women who masturbate on their back with their hands, but there is no reason why it should be. There really is no “right” or “wrong” way to masturbate, and there is no reason to be ashamed of what you need to please yourself. Your partner would be crazy if he didn’t enjoy the show!
Start by masturbating for a few minutes while your partner watches. Then ask your partner to put his hand on yours so he can feel what you are doing. You can do this with your hands or with a vibrator . Give them verbal feedback, such as “walk in circles” or “a little more pressure.” Once they know what you are doing, you can try grouping your clitoris. Touch yourself for a few minutes, then let your partner take over for a few minutes, then repeat. Turning off this way will help your body get used to being stimulated by another person.
Reach out your hand
There is also no shame in masturbating before completion when you are with a partner. This is a great strategy for women who cannot achieve orgasm from penetration (i.e. 70% of us) or who experience significant orgasm timing mismatches with their partners.
Positions such as cancer or woman on top make it incredibly easy to slide your hand or vibrator towards your clitoris. You can also relax first before moving on to intercourse (this is good advice for women who are experiencing sexual pain , as a pre-orgasm can help your muscles relax). Another fun thing is to use your hand on the clitoris while your partner is using their hand inside you (more tagging!). Or you can mix it up by having a session in which you both masturbate in front of each other, so everyone has fun masturbating!
Facilitating orgasm with a partner is another reason masturbation can be so amazing . Make those fingers work!