How to Get Back to Reality When “escape From Life” Becomes “avoidance”
Life can be full of adversity, so it’s nice to move away from reality and immerse yourself in the fantasies of your own mind. This is why we read books about faraway lands and explore virtual worlds with powerful avatars. However, too much of it can be detrimental to your productivity and personal growth.
Escape from reality in its basic form is deliberate detachment and distraction from the real world. This allows you to take a moment’s mind off your circumstances, giving you the opportunity to recharge your batteries before returning to battle. If you enjoy watching TV or movies, listening to music, reading books, playing games, and daydreaming, you are part of an escape from reality. This is completely normal. Exercise, storytelling, and even food can all be used to escape.
All things considered, watching a movie or reading a book isn’t inherently bad for you, and daydreaming can actually be good for your brain . Without escapism, the stresses of everyday life could burn you much faster . Escape from reality allows you to move away from emotions when you are feeling overwhelmed and return to the problem with a fresh mind. When you’re going through a tough time, disappearing into a good book or lengthy video game can help you deal with the harshness of reality in small doses that are easier to handle.
Of course, escapism, like everything else, can go too far . Think of escapism as sugar or salt. You can sprinkle it on your life to make it better, but it ruins too much. It can cause problems at work, ruin personal relationships, and possibly even alienate you from normal social circles. Your productivity can also plummet. Escaping reality alone doesn’t make you lazy, but too much can turn into avoidance and lead you to stump instead of actively pursuing your goals.
That being said, don’t think of escaping reality as good or bad – instead, it’s a tool at your disposal that can be used right as easily as wrong. When your escapism begins to prevail over the experiences in your real life, it may be time to stick your head out of the clouds. You don’t want to waste your entire life running away from him.
How to wean yourself from escapism
Learning to take your hands on the controls again and stop running away from life is easy. However, this is like getting rid of a bad habit, it takes time. You probably won’t go without a cold turkey, and you probably won’t. You just want to balance it with the rest of your life at a healthy level.
Enforce the Real Life Right Now Rule
The more fun you imagine real life, the less you may need to run away from it. This can be helped by choosing a fun life experience instead of escaping reality, and in order to do this, you need to set some basic rules for yourself. As a rule, “real life is right now”:
No (insert type of escape from reality here) if I know that in real life I would like something to happen now.
Meeting friends instead of enticing them to play a video game, for example, essentially replaces one positive experience with another. You are still doing something fun and enjoying a moment away from the imperfections of life, but you are not straying from your social circle or spoiling personal relationships. Whatever your poison is, it will be there when you return. Just make sure real life is what you at least think you will enjoy; otherwise, it can send you further back to escape from reality. This rule will not immediately resolve your abuse of escapism, but it is a good stepping stone in the right direction.
Rethink what it means to run away
For starters, it can help you stop calling it “escape from reality.” According to psychotherapist Dr. Michael J. Heard , “ escaping reality” can have negative consequences because it involves avoiding important things like work, family, friends, pets, and the rest of the real world. You usually don’t avoid good things, so you immediately decide that the real world and its items are bad and that you need to leave. Instead, Dr. Hurd suggests calling it “refueling” or something similar:
… there is something else that I call a “gas station”. Refueling refers to the secondary things we do to mentally or psychologically recharge our spirit (or body) so that we can better deal with basic responsibilities related to career, marriage / relationships, family / children, etc. No nothing wrong with refueling through fantasy and entertainment.
Whatever you call it (refueling, recharging, “time for me,” etc.), this language adjustment can help you see your situation in a different light. Instead of running away from the “old vile world,” you restore your energy by spending it on productive work. This reinforces the idea of having a goal. You are not aimlessly avoiding the real world, but looking for instant relief with the intention of returning there. Perspective can be a strong point, so don’t underestimate it.
Determine what you are trying to avoid (and why)
Getting rid of escapism can also be an opportunity to improve your real life. If you are using escape from reality as a way to hide from things, now is the time to ask yourself why.Celestine Chua, Life Coach and Founder of Personal Excellence, explains that escaping reality can be a defense mechanism, a means of protecting yourself from negative things in your life. Unfortunately, there is no escape from your circumstances. Your movie marathon will not protect you from the bills you have to pay, and rereading the Harry Potter series will not improve your performance. You need to take things apart and understand what is causing your “exit mode”. Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly:
What am I avoiding by doing this?
It could be debt, a bad roommate, a death in the family, whatever. Identify the problem (or problems) and challenge it for a moment. Maybe you didn’t know what it was until now, maybe you knew. Now ask yourself:
Why do I want to avoid this?
Are there any advantages to avoiding this right now? Of course they can be, but the cons probably outweigh the pros. Maybe you don’t even have an answer, and there is no real reason to avoid your problem. When you get trapped in avoiding things, forcing yourself to look them in the eye and define them, you may feel more comfortable dealing with “real world” problems. The more comfortable you feel in the real world, the less need you will have to escape.
Strive for lower doses of escapism
If you were trying to quit smoking, you would probably consider using nicotine patches or chewing gum to get rid of your addiction. Likewise, Reddit user Unwright, in an effort to wean himself from drug use, suggested replacing extreme cases of escape from reality with something less destructive:
In my experience, the only worthwhile way is to replace the escape from reality with an increasingly less dangerous escape from reality, and then completely get rid of yourself. Video games were my weak escape from reality. They saved my life.
You may not use drugs, but the same principles apply to any other type of extreme escape from reality. Video games can be something that you are trying to wean yourself from: for example, if you are obsessed with a video game and are tired of it, eating up all your time, you can wean yourself out of short gaming sessions of much smaller volume.
Or, if the social aspect attracted you here, you could instead spend some time on forums, chat clients, or even transfer some of your interactions to the real world. Make plans with friends who share the same passions as you, attend meetings to surround yourself with like-minded people, and use websites like Meetup.com to connect with people you’ve never had the pleasure of meeting. There are tons of ways to make new friends and many places where you can meet them when you are away from home , so don’t be afraid to start looking. Or, if you find yourself avoiding social or family gatherings because you just want to read, you can set rules for yourself, such as reading only before bed or when using the toilet. Give yourself smaller chunks of what you want to escape and spend the rest of your time taking care of the important things.
“Escape” to the world you are already in
When you feel the urge to run away, think about everything you’ve always wanted to know about. Instead of going through an entire season of Breaking Bad, take an online course in programming or web design . Instead of embarking on an adventure in the fantasy world of video games, explore the city you live in and see what a real adventure is like. Move your escape from reality from fantasy to reality. Who knows? You can acquire a new skill that will help you in your life situation. Or maybe you find a person, place, or thing that makes you less likely to want to run away.
Make a separate to-do list of all the things you wanted to do but didn’t do because you were doing something else . Anytime you want to escape, take a moment to take a look at this list. Keep yourself busy with things in the real world by solving problems and doing fun things. Also, take the time to figure out your purpose in life if you haven’t already . Sometimes escapism is when people end up not knowing what they want to do with their lives. Remember, you can change your world to a certain extent. Reality may not always be as funny as movies, books, and video games, but it can still be regulated; and it can be just as fun! Escaping reality can be a good thing, and you have a responsibility to keep it that way.