Criticize More Kindly by Mentioning What You Learned From This Person
When giving constructive criticism, you probably don’t want to sound like a jerk . The best way to criticize might be this four-step strategy formulated by social psychologist and game theorist Anatoly Rapoport.
Brain Pickings are taken from the philosopher Daniel K. Dennett’s book the “rules” or steps below. They are intended to facilitate better discussion between you and the person you are criticizing, not just to soften your criticism. Here are the steps:
How to write a good critical comment:
1. You should try to reformulate your goal position so clearly, vividly and fairly that your goal says, “Thank you, I would like to express it this way.
2. You should list any points of agreement (especially if they are not subject to general or broad agreement).
3. You must mention everything you have learned from your goal.
4. Only then are you allowed to say at least a word of refutation or criticism.
This is similar to a “sandwich” approach to criticism, except that instead of compliments, you tell the person what you agree with and how that person enlightened or informed you (if yes, that is). This may seem more sincere than just complimenting a person before criticism.
How to Criticize with Kindness: Philosopher Daniel Dennett on Four Steps to Reasonable Argument | Gathering brains