Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem Are Different Things
Self-esteem and self-confidence seem to be almost the same, but in reality they are not. For example, maybe you can easily perform in front of a crowd, give a speech and command a room, which demonstrates self-confidence, but at the same time, you feel like shit about your own public speaking, which is a lack of self-esteem.
Confidence in whether you trust yourself to get the job done, and respect in how you value yourself. Ideally, you want to value yourself and be confident, but there are several reasons why it is important to understand the difference between the two.
First, if you need to boost your self-esteem, you may have been wrong about focusing on self-confidence. Psychiatrist Neil Burton explains:
It is usually easier for people to build self-confidence than self-esteem, and when combined, the result is a long list of abilities and accomplishments. Instead of confronting their shortcomings and failures, they hide them behind certificates and prizes. But … a long list of abilities and accomplishments is neither sufficient nor necessary for healthy self-esteem. As people continue to work on their list in the hope that one day it will be long enough, they try to fill the void within themselves with status, income, possessions, relationships, sex, and so on.
It’s hard, but it’s true. Self-confidence allows you to get the job done, and getting the job done is great, but self-worth is probably more important to your overall well-being. At the end of the day, it’s about how you value yourself. It is very important.
On the other hand, there is also the idea that you can still do your job without having high self-esteem. Often we don’t look for opportunities because we think we are not good enough for them. But the good news is that you may think that you are not good enough and still take advantage of these opportunities. All it takes is learning to hone your self-confidence .
For example, suppose you are a designer and think that what you do is bad at what you do. Your dream job is a once-in-a-lifetime job, and you feel like you’re not good enough for it. You don’t have to think that you are the greatest designer in the world to apply for this job. You just need to have the confidence to write your resume, go to an interview, and share your skills and experience. Oftentimes, the confidence to do this without the accompanying self-worth can lead to impostor syndrome, but as we told you earlier, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing .
Again, you want to have a healthy level of confidence and value yourself, but it’s important to understand that these are two different things. For more information on this topic, check out Burton’s post below.
Self-Confidence or Self-Esteem | Psychology today