How to Stay Sane When Both You and Other Important People Are Working From Home
If you and your partner work from home, you are familiar with the unique challenges this can pose for your relationship. From the feeling that you are always on top of each other, to the fact that all your quality time is interrupted, life as a freelancer can be tough on a relationship. Here’s how to keep the spark when you both work from home.
Create division
If you like your partner (I hope you do), the prospect of working together from home might seem great at first. You see each other all the time! You can have sex anytime your mood rises! The novelty of such an arrangement can bring a pleasant burst of life back into your relationship. Unfortunately, this honeymoon period is soon to pass and you may feel a little tired of each other.
Perhaps the most important key to maintaining your relationship is to maintain some separation. If you are lucky enough to have a room, try creating separate office spaces. If there is a way to close the space with a door or even a partition, that’s even better. Even if your apartment is tiny, try to carve your own nooks and crannies. These places should be yours and yours only and should only be used for work when possible. It is advisable that you do not have to look at each other all day, so it is helpful to even turn the bodies in different directions. Headphones can also be a great way to customize each other.
Another option is to try working outside the home one or two days a week. Try to find a table in the coworking space, perhaps on selected days. Alternatively, try working in a coffee shop or even a library .
Observe normal “business hours”
When you’re both at home, it’s all too easy to distract each other. You walk into the kitchen for another cup of coffee, innocently ask, “Hey, have you seenthis awesome dog and balloon video ?” And suddenly you’re walking down the YouTube rabbit hole together for half an hour.
While the flexibility of working from home can be overwhelming, try coming up with your own working hours and communicating them to each other. Try not to interrupt each other during this time. Try not to talk about your non-work life during work hours unless absolutely necessary.
In addition to this set schedule, you should also come up with ways to signal each other when it is especially important not to disturb you. Try closing the door, putting up a sign or a note, or just say, “I have a very important 4:00 pm deadline, so can we put off the rest until then?” You can also find ways to signal that you might be distracted, such as this idea using red, yellow, and green cardboard .
Likewise, think about how you will end your day at work. It is difficult even when you are working from home alone: it is much more difficult to set a clear “stop” time and stick to it. Work somehow finds a way to flow into your non-work life. Try to set a certain time at which you will stop working each day. Together, consider if you can come up with a ritual at the end of the day, such as going for a walk (together or separately) or ceremoniously shutting down your laptops.
Don’t criticize each other’s work styles
When you both work from home, you face much more differences in your work styles. No matter how hard we try to be productive , we still need moments to relax and unwind. Your partner will inevitably come in when you tinker with your fantasy football squad again. Try not to comment on your partner’s work style or offer unwanted productivity tips. Your nagging might help your partner make some extra calls this month, but the level of irritability you create just isn’t worth it.
Keep stress away
One of the hardest things about working together at home is that you constantly stress each other. You see your partner pacing back and forth, biting their nails to shreds. You can hear them screaming during a conference call. Their stress can hardly fail to affect you. Sometimes you can take their stress personally, especially if they are grumpy towards you. In response, their stress can make you stressed. In other cases, you can step in and give your partner advice or try to fix the situation. It might seem like you both have to deal with doubled stress, which just sucks.
Try to be honest about how your stress affects each other. There aren’t always easy ways to separate stress from your partner, but there are a couple of tricks worth trying. One of them is to keep your distance from each other when you are under stress. One person may take shelter in one part of your home, or they may go outside to blow off steam. A person who is not under stress may want to plug in their headphones or move to a café so they don’t take on their partner’s stress. Another idea is to agree with each other that you will directly ask for support when you need it, so that you are not tempted to automatically assume the role of a retainer. Or just try to clarify the situation and say something like, “I’m really stressed right now. I’m sure you noticed and I apologize if this affected you. I need to figure this out on my own, so I’m going to shut up in the office for a few hours. “
Tell us about the cleanliness
The differences in cleanliness become even more apparent when you both work from home. One person may be distracted by seeing dirty dishes in the sink, while another may not want to interrupt their flow to wash during the day.
Discuss the desired level of cleanliness during the working day and the best time to clean. Divide household chores based on these conversations. You can also consider cleanliness when creating work areas. For example, if one person truly hates seeing clutter when trying to work, they may want a more isolated workspace. You may also consider hiring someone to do the cleaning for you. This is a vivid example of when money can really buy happiness .
Spend time alone at home
When two people work under the same roof, it is difficult because it greatly reduces the amount of time each of you spends alone in your home. Even though you spend most of the day in your home, it’s still nice to have all the space for yourself from time to time. Sometimes you just want to sit in your underwear and trim your toenails while singing along with Al Green, or let your fart and burp burst without worrying about your partner’s protests. Try to encourage each other to spend 30-60 minutes a day alone at home. Allow each other to be alone when you need it. One person can go on business or do a little work elsewhere.
Don’t forget to leave the house
If you work from home, you should actively look for ways to get out of the house . When you work from home, it’s all too easy to spend all your time at home. You start to feel like two animals in a cage staring at the same four walls (and each other) all day, every day, and it becomes difficult to remember the last time you left the house. If you feel locked up, you are less likely to be productive and more likely to lash out at each other.
Fresh air and a change of scenery are essential for your sanity and the health of your relationship. It is good to leave the house alone and alone. Try to break up your workday by eating lunch together in a café or park a few days a week, or by jogging coffee alone. Or make it a ritual at the end of the day to walk your dog together. Get out of the house on a hike or weekend trip so you don’t feel “in the office” seven days a week.
Keep it sexy
When you work from home, it can be shockingly easy for you to start neglecting your personal hygiene. You can shower less often. You may find yourself wearing the same tattered old gym clothes for days on end or not exercising at all (I mean, who would want to wear pants if you don’t really need to?). Unfortunately, it’s difficult to have fun having sex with your partner if you’ve been around them all day and looked horny.
Try to take care of yourself. Even being sloppy is one of your favorite parts of working from home, there are still a few simple things you can do. Try wearing a pretty outfit at least once a week (maybe even turn it into “sexy Friday” instead of “everyday Friday”). Your closing ritual can be showering with your partner or cleaning the house, lighting candles, and playing good music. You will feel better about yourself, your partner will appreciate it, and you will feel the difference when it comes to your sex life.
Speaking of sex, try to work outside the bedroom and keep this as your sacred place for intimacy. This can be especially helpful if you choose to take advantage of the flexibility of working from home for a little daytime enjoyment. If it doesn’t interrupt anything important, it can be an incredibly fun way to interrupt your day at times (if you’re chatting when you’re out and can’t take a break).
Different arrangements work for different couples, so try to play with these rules and find what works best for your relationship!