What to Do If You Break up With a Coworker
You had the perfect office romance – until it happened. Now you have parted. You removed all of his or her belongings from your apartment and unmarked all of your cute couples on Facebook. But when you see your ex at the office, it complicates things.
This post was originally published on the Muse website .
Normal breaks are tough, but office breaks are a whole new game. And, unfortunately, it does not always matter whether the case ended in mutual agreement or a heated dispute. Working with your former soul mate is really inconvenient.
But this unpleasant atmosphere doesn’t mean you need to run off and look for a completely new job. Here are five tips for getting through your office romance breakup, even if your ex is in the next booth.
1. Remain professional
Hopefully, you and your ex-spouse agreed to keep relationships out of the workplace from the start. Either way, this is not the time to let your personal affairs creep in and negatively impact your productivity and professional reputation .
As impossible as it may seem, you should treat your ex as you would any of your coworkers. Keep all your communication polite and strictly professional (more so than with anyone else, while the pause is still fresh) and avoid muttering snide remarks under your breath. Yes, it can be difficult to bite your tongue. But this is important because a screaming scrum in the office will not improve your situation.
2. Avoid gossip.
When a relationship breaks down, it can be tempting to scold your ex with anyone who listens to him. After all, this is the first page in the breakup guide. But it was an office break. So, the rules of the game are a little different.
Stay away from office gossip and do not chat with colleagues about the details of your split (no matter how much they ask you to reveal the details). While that vengeful voice in your head might prompt you to completely ruin his or her reputation, it just won’t do anything other than make you look bad.
There is no need to add fuel to the fire of office drama. And you don’t want your breakup to become an exaggerated office legend. (“A couple of marketers broke up once, and well, we’ve never seen a presentation with so many behind-the-scenes mentions of cheating.”)
3. Limit your interactions
Okay, so you accept the fact that you need to swallow your pride, suppress your negative emotions, and keep working with this person. But this does not mean that you need to constantly participate in each other’s daily life.
So, while your emotions have not yet surfaced, you can practice the age-old tactic of separation, which is avoidance. No, you can’t shy away from these important team meetings or conferences just to stay away from your ex. But you can change a few small parts of your schedule to help reduce the stress in your situation.
Come to work a little earlier to avoid the uncomfortable quiet walk together to the office. Stay away from the break room during your ex’s usual lunch break, or ask a coworker to join you for a meal.
Yes, this may seem like a general school strategy, but you don’t have to be a minor or even talk loudly about what you are doing. And, if it helps to remove even a little anxiety from your dynamic, it will be worth it.
4. Channel your energy into your work
We’ve probably all been a little bit obsessed with breaking up at one point or another. In fact, it is human nature. But instead of wasting time thinking that your ex is already discussing the date of the upcoming weekend, channel all the accumulated energy and passion into your work.
It’s not always easy, but try to contain your emotions at the office door and focus on achieving success at work. Remind yourself that you only have to live for the next nine hours. Not only will this take your mind off your ex’s situation, but it will also show your boss how productive and wonderful you are. And that’s enough to make you feel a little better.
5. Pause before doing again.
You spend a lot of time at work. So it is quite understandable (or maybe even expected) that romance will bloom there.
But while you are getting out of this particularly tense and awkward situation, take the time to assess the circumstances. Was the office craze worth all that extra care and discretion? Maybe it was, maybe not. Whatever you decide, it’s important to take the time to think carefully about the matter, especially before starting a new romantic relationship in the workplace.
All partings cause at least a little discomfort, anxiety and distraction. But the disintegration of the office introduces a whole new awkward element to an already volatile situation.
No, you don’t have to quit your job and move around the country. Just apply these tips to your job to get you through it all with dignity. Yes, and you can definitely grab a high-calorie treat on your way home from the office. You deserve it.
5 Ways To Survive An Office Breakup While Maintaining Your Dignity | Muse