Use a Reappraisal Technique to Deal With Anger
When you are angry, instead of trying to suppress the anger, try to reevaluate the situation. Changing your perspective can help change your emotional response.
As the blog Barking Up the Wrong Tree points out, your anger is often a reaction to a situation as you perceive it. However, a different context can make you less angry. For example, if a driver cuts you off on a freeway, you might get angry. However, if you knew that the injured person was being taken to the hospital, you might be less upset. By reevaluating the situation, you can sometimes change your emotional response:
Imagine the scene …: someone is yelling at you, inches from your face. You want to shout back. Or even hit them. But what if I told you that their mother passed away yesterday? Or that they were going through a difficult divorce and had just lost custody of their children? You would have let it go. You would probably even respond to their anger with compassion. What changed? Not that event. The situation is the same. But the story you tell yourself has changed everything.
Of course, this will not relieve the anger. For example, finding that your spouse is cheating on you will always make you angry. However, in everyday activities that annoy you, changing your perception is a powerful tool in avoiding anger. On the other hand, speaking out and talking about how much someone deserves your anger is the best way to stay angry.
How to Never Get Angry: 3 New Secrets of Neuroscience | Bark on the wrong tree