How to Date Multiple People (the Right Way)

Whether you’re in a relationship known as an ethically non-monogamous (ENM) relationship, or just go on a few Tinder dates without thinking of anything, there are several ways to make sure you’re as safe as possible without fear. asshole.

You must communicate clearly

Tell each and every partner about your plans! Relationships with ENM are great, as are dating of their own accord, but only if everyone knows. If you are hiding something, ask yourself why.

In apps, you will find many people with “ENM” in their biographies, or people who clearly state that they are not looking for anything “serious.” You will also meet a lot of people who are not so ethically non-monogamous or who are not so obvious about dating or sleeping. Be like the first group of people. It might seem awkward to admit in potential dates that you don’t really want something monogamous to bloom in your meeting, but it’s less embarrassing than telling them that they’re really just one relationship out of many when they hit. take you a third date “So what are we?”

If you are concerned that someone on your list would oppose its presence, it’s damn bad. They have the right to be opponents and not be deceived.

Back in 2019, you may have seen a viral tweet that said, “Dating my last boyfriend was like being bachelor, but not knowing that I was bachelor .” For this article, we contacted its author, Sarah Morse, a 23-year-old marketing executive who is now in a monogamous relationship, to find out what she learned about her being one of many women on the list of suitors.

Communication is key, she says – even that means the person you are talking to or meeting with will not want to continue walking this path with you after they hear what you have to say.

“If my shitty ex told me that he was going to become a serial con man, I would never have met him,” she said. “It makes me feel like I’m not enough.”

Of course, definitions of what a “cheater” is vary from person to person, and there are definitely people out there who won’t feel like they’re “not enough” if you tell them you want to play on the field. Again, you need to discuss this. You see, before Morse and this ex started officially dating, they told each other that they were both talking to other people. This was great! Problems arose when they got serious and Morse stopped talking to others, but the guy didn’t.

Be clear about your intentions, stick to them, and talk about them every step of the way to avoid becoming the target of a viral tweet.

Be open to change

You might think that you are only interested in a slutty summer . You may think you only want non-monogamy . You can think of many things that end up being completely irrelevant when you meet the person who will change all of this.

Don’t block your own blessings just because you have a certain vision of how things should go or what you are capable of. Check yourself after dates, meetings, and conversations to make sure you don’t fall in love with someone without realizing it. And if so, go from there – and do not be afraid to go astray.

Use protection

The use of condoms and other protective equipment goes without saying, but we’re still going to say this: nothing gets in the way of a lecherous summer or free time, like, oh, a child or chlamydia. Don’t expose yourself to it or force someone you don’t even want to bind through it; You can both solve this problem alone, and that sucks.

This tip is especially important if you’re going to ignore the first one. (No shadow, just saying.) If someone you happen to meet is not aware that there are other people in your inbox and in your bed, it really isn’t fair for them to attack it or keep this secret. These are just facts.

Also, keep in mind that if you are casual and meet often, your other partners may do the same. That’s their right, isn’t it? You don’t know other people they are fucking with. Seriously, wrap it up before knocking on it.

Find out more about yourself

Morse learned through her experience of being on a bachelor’s- like ruler that she was not in any non-monogamy, consensus or not. Mariella Mosthof, a 33-year-old culture writer who has met a few people from time to time over the past decade, learned the exact opposite of herself when she first became part of a “really wonderful formative triad with an elderly couple.”

“I feel less ugly when I date polyamorous,” she told Lifehacker. “In general, I am a person who is very eager for deep interaction. When I’m monogue, I just feel too sensitive, like I’m “too much” or I’m trying too hard. I tend to focus too obsessively on one person / relationship, which always kills them. My character is better suited to polyamory when I can pour a little of this intense energy into each vessel. For me it’s more peace of mind. ”

Whether you practice polyamory or dating on your own, you will learn a lot about everyone you meet, but you can also learn a lot about yourself. Use this opportunity to find out who you are and what you want. Then you will become the best partner not only for your many happy companions, but also for yourself.

“Feel your feelings completely and shamelessly,” advised Mosthof. “You are not special and your problems are not unique, that is, you are not alone! Process everything, define your needs, and try again. Or not!”