Most Sucks About College
College has to be cool. Everyone constantly reminds you that this will be the best time of your life. And it could be! But during the first year, this expectation can lead you to an unpleasant reality: going to college can suck, too.
Making friends can be difficult
When I started college, I didn’t think it would be easy to make friends, but I also didn’t think it would be as difficult as it used to be. Many people already seemed to belong to large groups, and since I really didn’t know anyone at my school, everyone was unfamiliar to me. I felt awkward, out of place and alone. It was the exact opposite of what I thought college was supposed to be.
This is, of course, even more difficult if you are shy or withdrawn. You’d rather hide in your dorm, chat with old, familiar friends online and go about your business, but at the same time, you don’t want to turn into some kind of homeless hermit. It means talking to new people, which some of us absolutely fear.
Sociologists say that friendship boils down to three key factors:
- Proximity
- Repetitive, unplanned interactions
- An environment in which people are encouraged to relax and trust each other.
Fortunately, college is a great place to find all three of these things. Joining a study group or other student organization is a great way to gain access to all three of these factors. Another option is to volunteer or earn extra money on campus.
When I was in college, I had many friends in organizations that I really liked because they were full of like-minded people. For example, I joined a writing club at a local bookstore and got along with a couple of other writers. We started writing together and are still good friends to this day. This helps you choose your activities wisely, but do not forget to be open-minded. Try a little bit of everything and see what you like.
Resist the temptation to go straight home after school or other activities. Try not to hang out in your room all day without exploring the campus. I went to a suburban school, which meant that most of the students wanted to leave as soon as possible so they could go to work or return home. To keep my introvert from getting the upper hand, I forced myself to say yes to campus activities , even if I felt like going home for the day. If I had to study, I tried to force myself to do it on campus, and not in isolation at home.
After a while, it becomes more natural to make friends. It’s not easy at first, but after graduation it will become even more difficult . So use fun groups and activities while you can.
Dating, relationships and sex are not what you expect.
Many people go to college trying to maintain a relationship with their high school students. You probably expect it to be somewhat tricky, but it can be much more tricky than you think, and for reasons that you are not even aware of. Or maybe you’re not in high school relationships, you’re just ready to meet the love of your life in college. It could have happened, and it certainly does happen to a lot of people. But in fact, many of us spend quite a lot of time instead dealing with heartache.
Breakups are the worst
College is a tough time for romance. Think about it: you are just starting to grow up and you understand what that means. You are constantly growing intellectually, emotionally and socially. You change a lot . Some of these changes will surprise you as hell. You may be more or less the same person throughout your life, but in early adulthood, your experiences will help shape your thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.
It is really beautiful. But, unfortunately, all these changes greatly complicate the relationship. While many high school sweethearts get married and live happily ever after, don’t be too hard on yourself if your own romance doesn’t last long . For the same reasons mentioned above, new college relationships can be difficult too. Serious relationships require support, commitment and communication, which is not an easy task. And college is about self-discovery (and study!), And that often runs counter to being able to devote all of your time or yourself to relationships. This relationship does not have to end in marriage.
However, the breakup, especially your first one, is pretty darn terrible. It’s confusing, heartbreaking, and you’ll be surprised how deeply you can feel the sadness. It gets better, but excruciating heartache is a distraction when you need to, you know, study and go to class. It’s difficult, but you need to learn to stay focused as you go through it. Take things on a daily basis, allow yourself to give free rein to emotions, but do not dwell on them. I hate to say it, but in college you can have a lot of breakups. It doesn’t necessarily get easier every time, but you understand how best to deal with it every time, and it always gets better.
It’s not always easy to meet new people
And there’s another myth about college dating: You’ll have sex all the time and meet new people. This, of course, takes place in college, but it really doesn’t sound as much like a movie as you might think.
Dating people is difficult , and even if you are successful, a chance meeting can very quickly turn into a “this is difficult” relationship. Feelings take over, you don’t even know what you want, and before you realize it, you forgot to prepare for the finale.
It would also be an oversight not to point out that meeting new people can be dangerous, especially early in college. This is a sad fact, but especially women should be aware of the “red zone”. County Resource Center Center explains :
The first month and a half of college is the time when freshmen are most likely to be raped or attempted to be raped. This period is known as the “Red Zone” – a period of vulnerability to sexual assault, starting with freshmen entering campus for the first time before Thanksgiving break. ” According to numerous studies, female students are at increased risk of sexual abuse during the first few weeks of their first semester on campus. Most sexually abused college students fall victim to someone they know.
Many rapists take advantage of the fact that many people think there is a difference between rape and dating rape, also known as date rape. In fact, many of them don’t even consider themselves rapists. The best way to prevent rape is to get the rapist to stop rape, but when it comes to this second, the best thing you can do is be aware of these potential dangers in order to avoid them.
Nobody cares if you study
In elementary and middle school, you are used to learning prompts. Your teacher plans the curriculum carefully so that everyone keeps up. Maybe he or she will even give you a weekly quiz to encourage you to read the assigned chapters.
You’ve probably already heard that college is a completely different story.
Nobody cares if you learn – it’s up to you , to keep up and pay attention. You learn to make your own schedule and manage your time, and if you don’t, you will quickly fall behind. In college, I took a couple of distance classes and there were no quizzes, only one final exam at the end of the semester. The lessons were videotaped in the library, but instead of watching one lecture every week, I found something else to do and put it off. Of course, this meant that when it was time for the last exam, I had a week to cram the lectures into three months. It was a nightmare – literally to this day I have nightmares that I completely forgot about the class and never finished it!
To combat this, you need a curriculum. Like a curriculum, but one that you create for yourself. HowtoStudy.com has a nice skeleton that you can adapt:
- Make a schedule of your current activities: during the week, note how you spend your time, whether it works, sleep, go to class – you get the idea. There are tons of time tracking apps out there, and some of our favorites include RescueTime , SlimTimer, and ManicTime , but you can also use a calendar or pen and paper if you like. See how much free time you have on your study schedule.
- Make your own schedule: Now fill in these free time gaps. Use a pencil to study specific classes or subjects at specific times in your schedule.
- Set Study Goals : Set your study goals for the week. This could mean refreshing a couple of chapters before an upcoming test. Or, if, like me, you only have one big test at the end of the semester, you will have to break down your semester’s learning objectives into smaller chunks.
- Stick to your schedule : You may need to change your schedule here and there, but try to be as consistent as possible. Making it a habit makes it easier to stick with it.
Of course, you’ll also want to mark all the important dates in your class’s curriculum on your calendar, learn to make great notes, and master some awesome learning skills to help you learn smarter .
Nobody cares about your finances
As with your study habits, no one cares how you use your money.
In fact, there are many organizations that expect you to be really bad about money, and many of them walk around campus offering you free t-shirts and other gifts, hoping that you will sign up for their latest offer. They hope you open a credit card, can’t repay it, and spend years paying crazy high interest rates. They hope you screw up your budget and need a payday loan. These are common debt traps that many of us fall into when we are young and not money-savvy.
If you are fortunate enough to have parents who taught you good money habits, you are one step ahead of everyone. If not, here are a few basics you should know. They may seem obvious to some, but when you are just starting out, the basics of finance are not so clear.
- Avoid bad debt: there is good debt and there is bad debt. Your student loan, however high, is generally considered good debt because (hopefully) it is an investment in your future earning potential. A car loan is bad debt because you are raising money to buy something that is depreciating. You cannot always avoid running into debt, but you should avoid it as often as possible, because interest rates can rise so much over time that you can feel dizzy.
- Do not borrow more than you need: most likely, you took out a student loan. But don’t take more money than you really need. For example, I know someone who took out a $ 100,000 loan even though her training was far below that. When she told the credit company that she didn’t need that much, they actually told her, “You don’t need to spend it on training. You can spend it on whatever you want. ” So she did, and now she is still paying the price. Once again: nobody cares about your finances.
- Don’t waste money that you don’t have: Spending a paycheck before you receive it is a good way to get stuck in a cycle of constant bankruptcy . Spend only what you have – don’t write a check that can’t be cashed, so to speak.
Aside from these rules, you’ll also want to come up with a basic budget, which can be tricky if you’re short on money . But it all comes down to keeping track of your expenses, classifying them, and drawing up an expense plan for each category based on your income.
