Four Decisions That Took Me Out of My Comfort Zone This Year
What’s not to like about your comfort zone? Even the phrase itself sounds nice. I imagine a cozy corner where I can be alone and be content, away from the whole crazy, uncomfortable world. Unfortunately, you also miss out on many interesting experiences in this corner, so this year I vowed to force myself to leave this corner.
You experience life outside of your comfort zone differently, and yes, it totally looks like some kind of motivational meme on a cheesy Instagram account, but that’s not all.
Getting out of your comfort zone is extremely beneficial for your personal growth and productivity. We are not making things up – there is real science behind it . Psychologists often refer to this concept as optimal anxiety , referring to Yerkes-Dodson’s Law , which suggests that a certain amount of anxiety can actually improve your performance (up to a point).
In other words, a little stress can actually be good for you if you still feel like you’re in control. This is the essence of getting out of your comfort zone: pushing your own boundaries and discovering your capabilities. In addition to increasing productivity, stepping out of your comfort zone has several other benefits:
- You will learn more : As you become familiar with new information and experiences, you challenge your confirmation bias , a tendency to only seek information that you already know or agree with. Who wants to think all the time that they are right? It’s boring.
- You are more resilient : As you get used to being a hermit, it becomes more and more difficult to do uncomfortable things. Over time, even the simplest thing makes you uncomfortable. After working at home for a while, it was difficult for me to leave the house to go to the grocery store. I was spoiled.
- It can help slow down time : not literally, but when you are too comfortable with your daily activities, time feels like it flies by , and stepping out of your comfort zone is one way to counteract it.
After reading about all the benefits of discomfort , I realized that I had become too comfortable to behave. Therefore, at the beginning of the year, I decided to look for discomfort more often. It was important for me to do it in small steps so as not to burn out, and the good news is that even the smallest break in comfort is a big deal. Big or small, here are some awkward situations I’ve used this year to break out of my comfort zone.
I asked for more money
There are several things in life that I fear more than asking for a pay raise. It’s right where you have to pay taxes or go on a blind date.
In a PayScale survey, people were asked why they weren’t asking for a raise. Here’s what they found:
- 28% inconvenient to negotiate
- 19% did not want to appear intrusive
- 8% worried about losing their job
If you’re afraid to ask, chances are you have at least one of these reasons. I can pretty much relate to all of them, but for me, the fear of losing my job has always held me back the most. Asking for more money is inconvenient, but obviously asking is important. As they say, you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you negotiate .
With that in mind, I forced myself to do something awkward and asked several clients to raise their bid. One client said no, so of course I immediately got worried about losing the gig. Of course, this did not happen. I just asked, was refused and continued to work as usual.
However, other clients said yes, and this increased my income over the year, making me feel more confident. Hell, even when they turned me down, I felt more confident. For a long time I chronically underestimated : I worked for free, underestimated myself, convinced myself that it was greedy to ask for a raise. This defeatist attitude is easy to get used to, but giving it up, even if rejected, can be a huge boon to your self-confidence.
I forced myself to give up my routine
If you are stuck in a routine, it can be difficult to break your daily habits. You tell yourself that you will eat better, exercise more, or take better care of your finances, but this is easier said than done. One way to be successful is to create a system for yourself when motivation is high .
I found myself in this situation earlier this year. Anyone who works from home will tell you that it’s too easy to get comfortable. You only spend time with the people (or pets) you like and rarely leave the house. I told myself that I would start taking regular breaks from work, but I didn’t. I told myself that I would go out more often and work in a cafe, but I didn’t. I was too determined.
To counteract this, I promised to create a system that would make me break out of my comfortable routine. Every Wednesday I started volunteering at the local library. (Nice exercise, but I have to admit that I did it mostly for my own selfish reasons.)
The people I worked with were great, but I didn’t really like volunteering and sometimes I was even afraid of it. I had to keep track of the number of staff for the children’s program, and when the room was full, visitors were often rude. Sometimes their rudeness was funny: one visitor said that she was doing her “business” elsewhere. On other occasions, it was completely discouraging: one visitor bluntly said, “You are a terrible person.”
In short, it was very uncomfortable. But there were several advantages to breaking the routine.
First, I was significantly more productive. Volunteering served as a ” coercive ” function. Instead of spending a whole day working on an article, I had a certain amount of time before I had to go to the library, so I worked faster and more efficiently. Secondly, I felt happier. My day seemed longer and in some ways more intense because the library had a different environment and energy from my usual routine. Finally, thanks to these rude patrons, I had to learn to stand and speak for myself – a skill I lost while spending my days alone.
So not only did I become more productive and energetic, but I also regained skills that I never knew I had lost!
I told a friend the honest truth
Some people find it easy to be brutally honest with everyone. I’m not one of those people. And chances are there are some truths that are difficult for you to deal with, too. Maybe a friend has bad breath. Maybe the friend won’t be silent about his ex, which annoys you. Maybe your friend thinks she’s been invited to your wedding and you didn’t plan it. Sometimes it’s hard to be honest.
For example, a few months ago, a friend wrote to me asking me to go see Pitch Perfect 2 . I had no desire to watch this movie, and for most people it would be the simple truth. But I have a strange, oppressive fear of letting people down, which means that being frank about such things makes me uncomfortable. On the other hand, I know how stupid it is. Not only is this unfair to the other person, but dishonesty can lead to all kinds of trouble. This is outrageous. It prevents you from strengthening your relationship.
My knee jerk reaction was to just have a drink and go see, because what is two hours twelve dollars? But I was already afraid to sit in a movie and was angry with her for making me watch it (although she didn’t make me do anything!), So I decided to do an uncomfortable thing. I told her, “I’ll give it up, I’m not the biggest fan.” Please dont be mad “. Of course, as a normal person, she simply replied, “What? Are you saying that you don’t have the same taste in cinema as I do? Jk, see you soon! “
I realized that being offended by my preferences in cinema is stupid, and, frankly, it’s okay. In fact, honesty can bring you closer together, and here’s what happened. We became pretty good friends and all it took was to do something a little awkward. On the other hand, there were friends who also ignored my honesty, and that was okay too. This helped me understand that we can be incompatible in many ways. It can be embarrassing, but honesty is the shortest path to strengthening your friendships.
I faced imposter syndrome
Conferences can be awkward, especially if you are shy or withdrawn. You have to talk to people you don’t know. You have to figure out what to do with your hands when talking to strangers. Even if you’re not shy, being in a room with so many successful people is also intimidating. You feel like an impostor.
So this year, when my alma mater asked me to come back and have a table talk with a room full of successful, experienced women, I really, really wanted to say no. But it was so nice that I agreed and went to the conference. It was terrible. I was terrified in the days leading up to this, and in fact, I began to feel very strongly the effects of Impostor Syndrome . I felt like a complete idiot and a fraud, and I was afraid that they would call me about it. One woman was a TV presenter. The other was the CEO of a large company. I still feel like I have nothing to do there, but they were so kind and curious about how I built my career. In fact, I told them that I felt like an impostor and was surprised to find out that many of them did too.
It turned out to be an inspiring and motivating experience, I met people who wanted to work with me and I had a lot of fun connecting with new people.
It would have been easy to come up with an excuse not to go, but the visit served a practical purpose and it helped me get a feel for networking.
Another funny thing happened when I broke out of my comfort zone this year: the more I did it, the easier it got. I found that if I missed a week of discomfort, then the next time I had to do it, it was much more difficult. So I tried to leave my nook before comfort came, and I forgot what life outside was like.
At the same time, it is important to sometimes return to your comfort zone. Like hedonic adaptations , discomfort and excitement can become your new norm, making everything else in your life boring. Returning to your comfort zone from time to time, you appreciate the subtleties and nuances of life. Plus, let’s face it, being comfortable is good. However, it is actually much better after you challenge yourself and learn from your own experience. The comfort zone is much more comfortable when you return to it after you’ve tensed.