Communicate With Passive-Aggressive Colleagues by Seeing Their Point of View
Nobody likes to be the victim of a passive-aggressive colleague, but if you respond to this with frustration, you will only make the situation worse. Instead, look at the situation from your colleague’s perspective and identify what the real problems are.
An employee can be passive-aggressive when he has something to say, but does not know how to do it. They just expect you to know how they are feeling, and while this can make things worse, it’s best to get things done early and not let their passive aggression get worse. Annie McKee, co-author of Primal Leadership , invites you to focus on what your passive-aggressive colleague is trying to say, rather than how he says it. Amy Gallo of Harvard Business Review gives an example:
Does she think the way you manage the project isn’t working? Or does she disagree with your team’s goals? … If you can focus on the underlying business problem or issue, rather than how it is expressed, you can move on to solving the real problem. When you’re calm and able to start a productive conversation, return to that person. Say something like, “You made a good argument in the conversation we had the other day. This is what I heard from you. This will help them discuss the nature of their concerns.
There is no need to tell them that they were passively aggressive, or remember how badly they tried to get their point across. It will just make them defend themselves. Determine your colleague’s point of view, go to the same page and show that you heard him. If you can do all of this without losing your composure, you will get rid of the fuel for their passive aggression.
How to Deal with a Passive-Aggressive Colleague | Harvard Business Review