How to Disagree With Your Boss Without Quitting
Let’s face it, openly disagreeing with someone in a constructive and non-condescending way can be challenging. But when is that someone your boss ? Suddenly things get much more complicated.
This post was originally published on the Muse website .
You don’t quite agree with your boss about something, and you feel strongly enough about your opinion that you need to voice your opinion and voice your concerns. Ideally, however, you would like to do this without looking like a proud know-it-all who defies his authority – as a result, you will be shown the door and kicked out of the team.
Sounds like a real puzzle, doesn’t it? I will not deny it, disagreement with someone – especially with someone higher than you in the hierarchy – can require careful consideration and serious tact. But this is not impossible! Here’s what you need to know to face your boss without losing your job.
1. Think carefully about the time and place
Sometimes it’s not just what you say, but when and where you say it. So, this is something that you need to seriously think about before starting such a conversation.
Are you in a team meeting where everyone shares suggestions and ideas with your manager? This can be a great opportunity to speak out without showing aggression, leniency or blame. Will your boss be embarrassed or constrained if you voice your opinion in a large group? Then you better arrange a separate one-on-one meeting to discuss this.
When and where you choose to share your opinion can seem like a secondary issue. But how your leader reacts to your disagreement can really make a huge difference.
2. Start positively
I’m usually not the type to hit with pads and embellish things – I tend to be straightforward . But when it comes to reaching out to a person of authority who doesn’t necessarily appreciate your harsh nature, you need to tread carefully.
That is why it is important to start your opposition with a clear indication of something positive. Perhaps this is part of an idea that you really liked, or part of a process that is already working well.
Whatever you come up with, it always helps to sort out your disagreement with a compliment. Of course, this might sound a little boring. But it’s much better than rushing into your boss’s office waving your finger and yelling, “This is the worst idea I’ve ever heard!” Trust me, this will end badly for you.
3. Ask questions
Your manager is in charge, so he or she probably won’t respond well if you act like you’re the one who should be giving out criticism and giving instructions. How to get around this? Asking your boss questions is a great way to make it clear that you are aiming for a joint discussion, rather than rushing forward and abandoning demands.
For example, you might say something like, “I really love your idea of having weekly group meetings so everyone is on the same page. However, I think it would be better to have them on Wednesdays rather than Mondays. What do you think?”
This clearly invites your manager to share their thoughts or feelings with you, which means that the conversation will not be aggressive or one-sided. Questions are critical so that your opinion is more of an offer or request than a strict requirement. And while it may seem spineless, this approach is effective when you are dealing with someone who is superior to you.
4. Focus on results
Any good boss will care more about the success of the company than about his own ego. Yes, unfortunately, there are managers who do not adhere to this particular philosophy. But I’ll keep my fingers crossed, just like yours .
So, if you can adequately portray the positive results of your opinion or idea, you are one step closer to getting your leader on your side. Let’s use the group meeting example above to really get the message across. We’ll use the same sentences, but just add a little to them.
“I really love your idea of having weekly group meetings to keep everyone on the same page. However, I think it would be better to have them on Wednesdays rather than Mondays, as it gives everyone the opportunity to get carried away after the weekend, which means that our meeting will be much more productive. What do you think?”
See how much more powerful it is? This shows that you are simply trying to suggest positive change in your office and colleagues, rather than attacking your boss’s authority and intelligence.
5. Respect the final decision.
Ultimately, your boss has the final say. If he or she takes your opinion into account, only to decide against him and proceed with a plan that you disagree with? Well, that must be respected.
I know it is easy to feel that you have to stick to your opinion and constantly insist that your idea is the path that you have to follow. But this attitude “my way or the highway” will not do you any good. In fact, this is a surefire way to show the door. So, even if things don’t go the way you need them in the long run, you need to know when to respect your manager’s decision, let it go, and move on.
Feelings of having to speak up and disagree with your boss are enough to trigger immediate panic. However, you don’t have to be as bold and arrogant as you think. Use these tips to make sure you speak your mind in a polite and persuasive way – and it doesn’t end up losing your job.