Be More Lenient With the “What I Like …” Feedback Model
Criticizing is not easy, especially if the person you are speaking to is sensitive. This approach allows you to keep criticism in a positive light, so your feedback will be perceived as constructive rather than harsh.
You’ve probably heard of giving someone a “compliment sandwich” before, where you start off with something positive, give a critical review, and then end up with something positive. It can work great at times, but if you’re dealing with a particularly sensitive person, Caroline Webb, author of Having a Good Day: Harnessing the Power of Behavioral Science to Change Your Work Life , thinks it’s best to work on your own. a way to get around things that might trigger someone’s protection. Webb recommends the What I Like … feedback model in situations like this:
- Tell the other person, “What do I like about this. … … »Provide meaningful, concrete examples of what you like and explain why you like them. Strive for as many specific positives as possible. Do not hurry.
- Then say, “What I would like even more is this. … … “
You don’t just tell them, “This is great!” You explain what is good and why. This will make them remember the positives more, so when you say, “What makes me love this even more is …”, they won’t just put up their shields. It also makes your criticism come across as an idea that they can use as a guide to improve their work. You don’t say you don’t like something outright (even if it’s so), you are sharpening your point of view so as not to undermine their self-confidence.
Why It Is So Hard To Swallow Criticism (And How To Make It Easier To Suppress It) | Fast Company