“Love Is a Skill to Learn.”
When you start a new job, you are not expected to learn everything on the first day. You are trained. You receive a guide. After a while, you will understand. With this in mind, School of Life makes an interesting point: we need to approach our romantic relationship in a similar way.
As they point out, love as an aspiration is almost impossible. We are expected to immediately “understand” the other person and feel some kind of deep magical connection, even if we did not know him for a very long time. Even if the first few weeks or months of your relationship do this, reality eventually comes along. We then get hurt when our partner doesn’t automatically understand or sympathize with us.
This is how the School of Life says about it:
In romantic ideology, love is understood as enthusiasm, not as reality: a skill to be learned … a work culture knows that people do not improve when they feel threatened and humiliated. In family life, we are much less capable of being competent teachers … We think that we should be loved only because we are who we are. Although we are all, of course, terribly imperfect, we think that love has nothing to do with education, and therefore the lover who tries to point out something to us behaves disgustingly, rather than doing what everyone should really do. lovers. doing her best to improve her loved ones through love.
At work, we are given performance reviews and feedback. With love, this should work. Of course, this does not mean that you should maintain relationships that are otherwise abusive or harmful. At some point, you still have to stop it , but that’s a completely different story.
The point is, making a relationship work cannot be instinctive. As unromantic as comparing love to our work may seem, this approach seems to be better suited to actually caring for another person. Watch the full video above or follow the link below.
Why work is easier than love | School of Life (YouTube)