How to Know When Your Child Needs a Therapist (and How to Find One)
The past year has been difficult for all of us, including our children. Many of our children are still too young to be vaccinated, and yet they are expected to return to full-time school in the fall, where, in addition to the usual school stressors, there will be additional stress associated with handling the events of the past year. Add in the fact that many children also had additional stressors, such as a family member’s illness, a parent’s job loss, or any number of other pandemic-related issues, and that’s a lot.
“Some kids may be hesitant or a little anxious about reunion and may need a little support,” said Melissa Goldberg-Minz, assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at McGovern School of Medicine at UTHealth.
If you think your child may need extra help, there are a number of signs to look out for and resources to use.
Watch for major behavioral changes
Any major change in behavior is an important sign that your child needs help. This includes destructive behavior against others or against ourselves, such as self-harm, alcohol or drug abuse, and destructive behavior such as behavior at school or participating in fights.
Other signs include excessive anxiety or sadness, isolation from family and friends, changes in eating and sleeping habits, and any signs of regression such as bedwetting, tantrums, and excessive tenacity.
Don’t overlook quiet changes
Severe behavioral changes are a big red flag, but many kids go out of their way to hide their struggles from their parents. But no matter how hard they try, sooner or later it will inevitably come out.
Goldberg-Minz compares children hiding their pain to a beach ball underwater. “It doesn’t stay underwater, it will take off,” she said. “Not only does it take a lot of energy to maintain it. This is what children do when they try to hide their pain, they hide it. “
Parents who are solving their own problems can easily overlook subtle signs that your child is struggling. “Everyday life is stressful enough,” said Goldberg-Mintz. “If there is no loud enactment of behavior, it can be easy to just maintain the status quo.”
Some of the more subtle signs may be that your child is less interested in being with friends or participating in their day to day activities. In this case, it is best to take the initiative so that your child can get the help they need before they reach a tipping point.
Your pediatrician and school are good resources
If you think your child needs additional help, the first step is to contact the pediatrician’s office and also your school. Your pediatrician’s office should have a list of therapists they can recommend and suggestions for different treatment options. In the meantime, your school may have a counselor for your child, as well as a list of therapists they can recommend.
Parents matter a lot
Even if you cannot protect your child from all the bad things that happen in the world, their presence can be critical. When it comes to experiencing childhood trauma, parents can be critical, and the biggest factor in a child’s prosperity is the parent-child relationship.
“The parent-child relationship is critical to a child’s recovery and well-being,” Goldberg-Minz said. “Parents who can have a warm, close relationship with their children are the ones who do best.”
Being a parent means being forced to admit that you cannot protect your child from all the bad things in the world, including all the stress and fear of the past year. But with your support, which in some cases means outside help, your children can thrive.