Loneliness Is a Signal, Not Just a Feeling
When you are feeling lonely, it can be difficult to get rid of the accompanying sadness and pain. But feeling lonely is actually totally great. This is your mind’s way of telling you to change something.
At Vox, Brian Resnik spoke with Mike Luhmann of the University of Cologne about loneliness and its effect on people. Luhmann explains that loneliness hurts so much because it really is. Our brains experience social pain much like physical pain. But this pain is good, says Luhmann:
This signals that we need to do something with our social connections. This is a sign of our psychological system that something is wrong.
When you feel lonely, it simply means that you crave social interaction and should reconnect with people. However, it can be harmful if your loneliness becomes chronic. Luhmann says ignoring the signal of loneliness can lead to adverse health effects. And over time, it becomes more and more difficult to communicate with people. Therefore, it is important that you perceive your loneliness as a signal, and not just a state of mind that makes you feel bad. Just like hunger or thirst, loneliness must be fought.
However, it is important to note that being alone is not the same as feeling lonely . Everyone has different needs for social connections. Don’t worry about what other people need and focus on what is best for you.