The Best Way to Support Someone in the Event of a Tragedy
When something terrible or sad happens to someone close to you, it can be difficult to know exactly what to do or say . The clues should be specific, not ignore or gloss over what is happening, and always be on the alert. This is what we mean.
In the video above, Marie Forleo gives specific advice when someone close to you receives serious health news, a loved one dies, or is bereaved again. In all of these unfortunate scenarios, there are some general rules of Do’s and Don’ts.
- Offer specific help . Telling someone to “let them know if there is anything you can do” is generous, but helping them and giving them concrete help increases the likelihood that they will accept your offer. Make a big batch of chili and call them and tell them you will be in their area. Ask if you can leave food. Or maybe you’re digging up the driveway so you’ve already contacted and already got your equipment, so go in and take them away too. Tailor your suggestions to your strengths and situation, but always try to be specific.
- Don’t ignore or gloss over their experiences . Platitudes like “He’s in a better place now” or “There is a reason for everything” is easy to come back, but they have all been heard before, and worse, they can be quite offensive if you think about how you are “I would like them hear if you suffered. Instead, focus on letting them know how you are feeling and that you are there for them. Say, “I’m always a phone call away” or “I wish I could use the right words, but please know that I care.” And of course, if you haven’t had the same experience as them, don’t tell them that you know how they feel, because you don’t.
Of course, this won’t work in every situation, and there are some more tips and specific ideas in the video above, but if you don’t get anything out of it, use these two pointers to hear the next time someone close to you is. experience difficulties or suffering. and you would like to help.
What to say (and not to say) when someone dies or is in tragedy | Marie Forleo (YouTube)