Five Solution Alternatives to Start the New Year Right
New Year’s resolutions have a big chance of failing , and that could make the end of each year a big bummer rather than a holiday. Don’t worry about decisions this year, but try these forward-looking alternatives instead.
Set intent instead of decision
Resolutions are disappointing because they represent an all-or-nothing approach to achieving goals. But making positive changes in your life is not an end result, but a process . This is why Jessica Estrada at Apartment Therapy prefers to prioritize intentions over decisions .
Intentions concern the present moment, not a formless, unknowable future. You focus on how to do it, not pass or fail results. For example, if you want to lose weight, don’t set yourself the goal of “losing 10 pounds.” Make it your intention to be more active or mindful of your diet. Every day you may be asking yourself, “How can I be more active today than usual?” Or “How can I eat healthier than usual?” The changes you follow will follow you. Plus, you’ll feel much less of a failure because you start over every day, and if you ever make a mistake or fall behind, you’ll have the opportunity to forgive yourself and start over in the morning.
Choose a topic or “keyword” for the year
If you want to make the change you are striving for, skip quantitative goals entirely and choose a topic or “keyword” for your year. For example, Miranda Markuit of MoneyNing makes growth her theme. She’s not looking for milestones, just asking herself, “How can I grow in my life?” And the actress Zoe Saldana makes her topic “open”, preferring to focus on being more open about her feelings to others.
Topics are useful because you cannot quantify or track abstract goals such as “being a better mother” or “being a kinder person.” Maybe your topic is as simple as “kindness” or maybe “understanding” if you feel like you get angry too quickly with things . If you are surprised by the presidential election results, you can make this year a year of “prospects” and find a way to get out of your echo chamber and begin to understand why this is the case. Take a word and print or write it down, and then put it in a place where you can always see it. Maybe on your computer monitor, above your door, or on your bathroom mirror. It will serve as a memory stick, always reminding you what this year is.
I pledge to help someone else
Change for the better doesn’t have to be about you. In fact, the best way to change yourself is to do things for others often. Meghan Blalock of Who What Wear offers to make a commitment to the person and not to set a goal. Maybe you have a friend who has seen better times, or a family member who is struggling. Or perhaps now is a good time to start volunteering at a nearby community center or free cafeteria.
However, making a commitment to someone does not have to be completely selfless. If there is anything you want to achieve, Mae McCarthy, author of The Path to Wealth , invites you to spend time with someone who has already done it :
“It will help you practice the technique, see what life can be like if you achieve it, and raise your mental equivalent. When you see people succeeding in achieving your goal, it helps you think, “If they can do this, I can do that.”
Make the new year interesting for others and you may be surprised how far it will take you.
Highlight the achievements of the past year and present the highlights of the coming year
You may not feel the need to make any big changes in your life. This is perfectly acceptable, especially if you are already on the right track. Even so, it is useful to use the New Year as a milestone on the road to success. Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. , invites Psychology Today to look back on their favorite memories and victories of the past year. Think of all the times you have overcome difficulties, solved problems, and come out on top. And don’t forget to also track your efforts and be aware of how much you’ve worked. It will help you meet the challenges of the new year.
After you’ve done that, McGonigal recommends that you sit down and make a list of five things that you think will be most important in your coming year. The events on your list can be as small as you want – a fresh episode of your favorite TV show, a trip, a new video game – just make sure it’s something that you’re sure will happen. Waiting for a raise, for example, can be exciting, but you’ll be even more frustrated if it doesn’t. So don’t worry about high goals. Look back and realize how awesome you are, and then think about how great things will be.
Make a small goal for January only, then February and so on …
If you absolutely need a measurable, measurable goal, think of something simple. Take your permission, break it down into small reachable pieces , then throw the permission in the trash and forget about it.
For example, right now one of my big goals is to learn Japanese, which is a serious undertaking. So I’ve broken it all down into accessible pieces. My only goal now is to learn Hiragana, one of the Japanese alphabets, by the end of January. Then my next goal will be to learn katakana by the end of February, then build my vocabulary in the spring, and so on. Eventually, all “learn Japanese” will happen. Maybe not by the end of this year, but it doesn’t matter when you’re making real, measurable progress towards your goals.