What’s Cooking? What’s Your Weirdest Secret Food?
Hello, and welcome back to What’s Cooking? , a weekly open thread where you can share all your brilliant thoughts, tips, recipes and opinions on anything edible. This week I want to talk about secret eating habits.
I think there are two sides to humans as eaters. There is the eater you show to the world – the one who uses the proper utensils and seasoning food appropriately – and then there is the wild eater. The wild ogre comes out when no one is around. It is the food you eat when your partner is out of town or you are simply too tired to give a damn about what is “right.” The wild man-eater is brave and adventurous, he asks questions such as “why can’t I just eat saline with butter and nutritional yeast for dinner?”
So, I would like to know how you eat in the most wild. I want to know what foods you eat when no one is around, and what you eat when no evaluating eyes are looking over your shoulder. You probably don’t need questions to get started, but I’ll give you a few anyway:
- What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever added to ramen? My “I’m all alone and feel like a panda” idea is instant ramen (beef flavored) with drained water before adding the seasoning pack. Then I add a string of cheese and some frozen peas. It kind of solidifies into one super-salty cheese mass. Okay.
- Have you ever put Doritos in a tuna sandwich? This seems to be a more popular practice than I originally thought.
- What seasoning do you abuse to the point of indecency? I pour sour cream on almost everything and start to panic if she is not in the house. I also have a habit of eating large flakes of Maldonian salt by itself, which I call “snack salt”. This is very upsetting for my loved ones.
- How do you feel about expired products? I don’t eat a ton of expired food, but I do consume expired Diet Coke regularly. It tastes a little less sweet than the expired Diet Coke and I love it. (I know, I know. It’s a terrible, very bad habit.)
- Do you have a deep love for such a hateful food? I’m a big fan of lima beans and it makes some people very angry. I think my ex essentially broke up with me because I once added macaroni and cheese to them .
- Who is your secret of love for fast food? I am very obsessed with McDonald’s, especially Egg McMuffins and Double Cheeseburgers. ( Not McDouble, which has less cheese.)
But enough about me, I want to hear all about your strange eating habits. To make it enjoyable, I ask everyone to be calm and unbiased. I want this to be a safe place.