Isolation Is Killing You
There are many benefits to being alone sometimes , but true isolation is becoming a deadly epidemic in the United States, especially for middle-aged men. But the loneliness that often comes with the trials of modern life doesn’t have to be a death sentence.
Social isolation and loneliness have been linked to serious negative health effects in study after study, leading some researchers to believe that prolonged isolation is as harmful to longevity as cigarette smoking. There are also links to an increased risk of heart disease, stroke, and Alzheimer’s disease. And one recent study found that simply living alone can increase your risk of premature death by as much as 6%. Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy even claims thatisolation is the most common disease in the country .
The problem is, as Billy Baker so eloquently explained in the Boston Globe , we are not very good at admitting that we are alone – or even realizing it. Baker spoke with Dr. Richard S. Schwartz, a Cambridge psychiatrist, to see what can be done that is easier to fix than you might expect. First, you need to take a look at your life and acknowledge that you are feeling lonely. It’s not easy, Schwartz explains, because we’re afraid it makes us look like failures, but it’s vital. Do you keep in touch with people you think are friends? Do you turn off the time to be with the people close to you? Do all your social interactions take place on social media ?
Once you’ve established that something is wrong, your loneliness should be a call to action . Reconnect with your old friends and consider connecting with acquaintances . If you need new friends, try to find them. Take lessons at the gym, try your hand at improvisation, talk to people after religious gatherings, join a sports league, or start taking your dog to the park.
After you reconnect, come up with an activity that you can do in person with your group of friends. This is especially helpful if you’re a man, as women tend to connect better in other ways, according to Schwartz. Meeting once a couple of months is not enough for a drink, so choose something that you can do a couple of times a month with some regularity. I personally recommend gathering friends around the table for role-playing or board games . Whatever you choose, make it part of your schedule so you can plan other things around it and your family always knows when it will happen. Isolation will only kill you if you let it.