How to Ask for Advice Via Email
“Can I buy you coffee and take your brains?” What has caused this misconception among people in need of advice around the world that the usual rate for an hour of professional advice is a three-dollar drink? Why do we all try this early in our careers (and if we are in business development, then in our mid to late careers)?
I think that when we are in our twenties, most of us do not realize how universal we seem to everyone we look up to, and how much more busy these people are. We see exciting new friendships and they see what to do or, ideally, avoid.
So if you find yourself asking for someone’s brain ( bad phrase ), first ask yourself if you really need their advice or just their approval. In the latter case, talk to friends or do something impressive in public.
If you really need advice, just email it . And follow these rules:
- Spend 95% of your time researching who you are writing to and 5% writing an email.
- Introduce yourself quickly, but be specific and ask specific questions.
- Ask one or two questions. Not three! You will want to add a third one because your email looks too short. Is not.
- Google your questions first.
- Don’t offer hopping on the phone as a compromise. This is not a compromise, it is a threat.
- Say, “Even one sentence would be great.”
- Writer Tao Lin came up with the following : tell the recipient to ignore your letter. Don’t just say no, but ignore it completely .
- Say thank you.
- Once you’re ready to submit, find and delete at least one offer.
- Submit and move on. Never “go on.”
The point is that the reaction is not so much work as procrastination. If in the first letter you invite me for coffee, I will fake either an absence from work or my death. If you email me one open-ended question and add “Feel free to ignore,” I will immediately ignore my real work and write you a book via Gmail.
Submit and move on. Be pleasantly surprised if you hear anything in return. Then follow these rules:
- Thank you again.
- If the answer is really great and interesting, feel free to ask a follow-up question with the same caveats as before.
- Only ask for a face-to-face meeting after they have written you at least five paragraphs or five exclamation points.
- Never talk on the phone again.
Each request for advice suggests that the recipient’s brain is currently more valuable than yours. Therefore, to get answers, treat them as if they are true.