What to Do If You Are a Guy Struggling to Reach Orgasm

I bet nine out of ten people who read this headline will think, “Dude with orgasm problems? Yes, right. “Usually, having difficulty reaching orgasm is perceived as a woman’s problem, but this is an unfair and harmful stereotype. The reality is that a man’s orgasm is not a guarantee. If you find it difficult to reach orgasm, here is your game plan.

Collect information

I know it can be frustrating to even be aware of your sexual problems, but it’s important to take some time to study your orgasm history. Have you struggled with orgasm all your life, or has there been a change lately? Was it easier to orgasm with one partner but not with the other? Or at certain times in your life, but not at others? Is it situational or does it happen every time? There are many potential reasons for struggling with orgasm, and one of the best ways to start addressing those causes is to get a clearer picture of your particular story.

See your doctor

Medications and medical conditions can make it difficult or impossible to reach orgasm. It is recommended that you make an appointment with your doctor to discuss possible medical factors. Some of the more common causes of blocking orgasms include:

• Prescription drugs. The most common culprits are antidepressants and anxiety medications, but antipsychotics, high blood pressure medications, beta blockers, and pain relievers can make orgasms difficult.
• Depression (yes, both depression and antidepressants can make it harder for you to orgasm)
• Anxiety (same thing)
• Hormonal imbalance
• Diseases of the thyroid gland
• Condition of the pituitary gland
• Problems with your nervous system

Chill out at the party

If you’re only having difficulty getting orgasm after a long night of noisy partying, it might be time to rethink your party habits. I know it sounds obvious, but a lot of people fail to connect. Alcohol, amphetamines and cocaine can make it much harder to reach orgasm right now, and long-term use can lead to long-term problems. Do your penis (and the rest of your body) a favor and either practice moderation or stop.

Study your masturbation habits

There are a large number of men who can perfectly experience an orgasm on their own, but they find it difficult to achieve this with a partner. In these cases, masturbation is one of the most common causes of orgasm problems. Many men masturbate the same way every time. Masturbation is great, don’t get me wrong, but it’s easy to get your body to respond to just that kind of stimulation. We are all already familiar with the stranglehold, right? This is when you masturbate with a very tight grip. If you use Death grip, it can be much more difficult to orgasm if you don’t have that level of intensity. It’s the same with one particular technique or the constant viewing of porn to achieve orgasm.

The best masturbation advice I can give is to change your daily routine as often as possible. Don’t masturbate in any way more than 50% of the time. Here are some specific things to try:

• Use a different move
• Use less pressure
• Change your move or technique
• Try using a male masturbator
• Use your non-dominant hand
• Try to dream up instead of watching porn

There are so many different ways to masturbate, so why limit yourself to one?

You can also use masturbation to help your partner in the moment by masturbating and getting closer to orgasm before embarking on it. Or, you can take breaks to masturbate. You can also teach your partner about something that gives you pleasure: ask him to watch you masturbate to imitate your techniques.

Connect with your emotions

Here we run into dumber stereotypes; yes, guys have feelings. When I work with a client in my practice, we dig a lot to try and understand what’s going on with this particular dude. More often than not, I find that there is actually a fairly understandable reason why he has difficulty having an orgasm with a partner. Here are just a few of these reasons:

• He feels guilty about sex. Sometimes it is religious or moral guilt. Sometimes it’s because he’s doing something he shouldn’t do, such as cheating on his partner.
• If his partner is a woman, he doesn’t want her to get pregnant. Even if they agreed to try and get pregnant, he may be in conflict about becoming a parent.
• He is afraid of contracting an STI.
• He has been sexually assaulted in the past. (Another stereotype is that men never become victims of sexual assault. This is simply not true.)
• There are many disagreements in his relationship. Sometimes, his partner may even taunt him or get upset that he has difficulty reaching orgasm.
• In general, he is under a lot of stress.

I find myself repeating over and over: “Your penis is not a machine. It responds to the dynamics that take place in the rest of your life. ” Sometimes your penis tries to tell you something, refusing to cooperate with your plans. If you can start listening to this, you can return to the same page.

Ask what you need

I also work with many men who find it difficult to ask what they need or allow themselves to receive during sex with a partner. Some men are overly focused on their partners rather than themselves.

We also have some really silly sexual stereotypes that men should be able to wear them wherever and whenever they want, and women are delicate flowers that need foreplay and mood setting. It’s a bullshit. It’s normal for you to want and need foreplay, targeted or other specific types of stimulation. And your pleasure is just as important as your partner’s pleasure – remind yourself of this in the moment.

Get more stimulation

Often all men (and women) need to reach orgasm is additional stimulation. Your body needs to react to something; it’s not just an orgasm out of nowhere. Here are some ideas to try:

• Lift your mood with erotica or porn.
• Ask your partner to do hand exercises or give a blow job. Some people need focused stimulation where they can pay attention to receiving without worrying about pleasing their partners at the same time.
• Turn on anal play if you haven’t already. There are many nerve endings in the anus and rectum, so stimulating them can be a lot of fun and help you get over yourself.
• Try a sex toy. A vibrating cock ring or toy for couples can be surprising. Or try a butt plug.
• Look at yourself in the mirror.
• To fantasize.
• Use lubricant – this can greatly enhance the sensation. If your sex life involves penetration on your part, the lubricant will also make your partner’s life more comfortable and allow the two of you to live longer.

It’s also important to focus on the stimulation you are currently feeling and allow yourself to experience the pleasure. The desire for orgasm is natural, but many of us tend to forget that pleasure is not only the path to orgasm, but also the reason why orgasm feels so good in the first place. The more you can devote to pleasure, the more enjoyable your sexual experience will be and the more likely you are to reach orgasm.

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