Why Is It so Nice to Cut Your Own Hair?
It was a particularly stressful week when, with a pair of scissors in one hand and four inches of hair in the other, I decided to get my hair cut. Several times later, I felt triumph. Of course, after a week I paid an expert to fix it. But at that moment, I felt as if they had lifted a load, and that was good, even if it was only a few ounces.
Why do we impulsively cut our hair?
This is something you probably did at some point too, quite possibly right after the breakup. However, grief is not the only thing that inspires us to cut. “I have found that people usually have an impulse to cut their hair after experiencing stressful situations, positive or negative, when they feel somewhat out of control,” said Dr. Lauren Appio, a psychologist and career coach based in Manhattan.
Of course, there are practical reasons for cutting your own hair impulsively, but that’s not what we’re talking about. We’re talking about this impulsive desire to just get rid of it . Appio says that people are often impulsive to get their hair cut when they are bored or “stuck in something.” In my example, I was trying to finish a book with a tight deadline, which meant I had to adhere to a strict, focused writing routine for several weeks. I longed for something new. After all, the novelty is pleasant to the touch and can even increase your productivity .
But why hair? Appio said, “A significant change in your appearance can be reassuring because you can see immediate results from your actions that remind you of the power and free will that you have in your life.”
Hair is also symbolic. As insignificant as it may seem – “it’s just hair, it grows back, you know,” my friend once said as I hesitated, shaving my head like hers, “our hair is tied to who we are.
“Hair is often a sign of gender and culture,” Appio told me. “The change in hairstyle may reflect our desire to reaffirm our connection to our communities or, alternatively, challenge cultural or social norms related to look and feel.”
For example, in the New Statesman, Laurie Penny explains her decision to wear very short hair:
Among the advantages of short hair is that it is easier for me to calmly read my book on the bus. I mention this because there are clearly some men who rarely or never think about what it is like for a person to negotiate about femininity in the real world … The choice to act mindfully, as if the sexual attention of men is not my top priority, did there is more difference in the way my life has turned out than I could ever have imagined.
In other words, hair is subtly tied to our choices and therefore our identity, so changing it can be pretty darn good.
Why you should (or shouldn’t) do it
Admittedly, spontaneous haircuts are nothing new to me. I spent 2010-2014 nurturing an impulsive haircut that failed. Sometimes that’s fine; on other occasions I regretted it. However, from a psychological point of view, isn’t impulsive behavior usually frowned upon? I asked Appio. “If you haven’t looked at the needs that may be causing these urges, you’ll probably continue to repeat the cycle of strong urges, feeling tension or excess energy, and releasing that tension by acting on your own urge,” she said.
There are arguments for an impulsive haircut, and we’ll get to it, but first there are several reasons why you might want to step away from the scissors and reconsider your desire:
- Newness fades: The newness of a new haircut can quickly disappear – then you can get stuck in a haircut that you don’t like or requires too much work. I straighten my hair every time we do it now and I don’t like it.
- You may not know what you are doing: It’s easy to ruin your own hair, especially if you don’t have straight, fine hair. My hair is thick, half straight, half wavy, which means it needs an expert touch (and even experts often ruin it).
- It can distract you from more important things: “I usually encourage people to respond, not respond to their promptings,” Appio said. “To determine if a behavior is helpful or not, it’s important to think about how it works for you. For example, you can explore how this will help you cut your hair or otherwise act according to your urge, and how fulfilling that urge might hinder you. ” Fair. Also, keep in mind that the impulsive decision to cut your hair is often followed by days of obsession with what is “just wrong”.
However, having a haircut on a whim can also be a great way to deal with stress. It might just be a bit of an adventurous experience worth going through. That’s why:
- It’s liberating: again, this feeling of getting rid of the old and embracing something new feels like catharsis. It’s also nice to take control. Hair seems like a silly thing to control, but sometimes the simple act of making a decision, even a silly one, can make you feel stronger.
- Change is good: a novelty can be a great thing . It can make you more productive, motivated, and creative.
- It’s just hair : yes, hair symbolizes your personality, but a symbol is just a representation of something else. Your hair as a symbol is not what defines you. When you tousle your hair, you remember this.
“People who are prone to perfectionism or indecision due to overthinking may find it helpful to try more spontaneous behaviors. This can be helpful when you see that you can survive and even enjoy the result of a quick or imperfect decision, ”Appio added. “At its best, it’s a way to get creative, enjoy your looks, and try something new with minimal risk.”
To be clear, even if you ruffle your hair, it will still be nice, and in the end my friend was right. It will grow up again, you know?
Questions to Ask Before Starting Grinding
Let’s say you’re leaning towards the “I’ll do it” camp but still hesitant. If you want to think a little more about your decision, ask yourself a few questions.
Have you done this before? What experience have you had? I have the urge to cut my hair often, and this question always reminds me of how unpleasant my past experience with hair was, and in most cases I understand that the consequences outweigh my desire for change. Appio suggests a few more:
- What needs am I trying to satisfy by cutting my hair or otherwise showing desire? For example, do I need to feel more grounded or in control?
- What are my risks in making this change, and am I willing to accept these risks?
- Are there other, more efficient ways to meet my needs?
Another good question: are you drunk? When you are bored and anxious, regrettable decisions often follow. Also, from a practical point of view, consider whether you are planning any kind of event, such as a wedding, party, or networking. Before heading out to a big public event, you can let your radical cut grow for a while. Or maybe you just didn’t want to hear: “God, did you get your hair cut ?!” every five minutes.
If you are going to do it, here’s how
Okay, you’ve decided it’s time to cut. It’s probably best to go to a salon and enlist the help of a professional, but I also realize that this takes half of the adventure and drama out of the situation. (Mulan didn’t make an appointment !) If you insist on doing it yourself, at least follow some guidelines.
Carry out research
YouTube tutorials are popular, but there is a lot of useful information from real stylists. Just be aware that many stylists don’t even cut their hair themselves, so it’s not as easy as you might think. When I finally went to the salon to fix my unsuccessful haircut, the stylists wondered where I got the scissors for my head. If you are going to do this, you will need a couple of different mirrors so that you can see your hair from all angles. Actually, here’s what you need:
- Decent scissors for styling your hair (as opposed to, say, kitchen scissors).
- At least two mirrors
- Handful of hair ties
- Newspaper or something else you can put down to make cleaning easier
Be aware that there will be some trial and error. You cut your hair straight, it looks good, you move around and look at your back again, and suddenly things get weird. Consider this when planning your chopping time. It will probably take longer than you think. Not only that, you will likely end up giving up on more than you think, so start longer than you planned and then keep growing.
Make a backup plan
Be prepared for the likely scenario that your new haircut will look like a child chopping it off with safety scissors. You can just grow it, but you may hate your new haircut so much that you want to take it to the salon and fix it like I did. If that’s the plan, make sure you budget it and have the time to do it in the first place.
Don’t forget to donate
Finally, don’t miss the opportunity to donate it . There are several charities that collect hair for wigs. For example, Pantene and the American Cancer Society donate wigs to women with cancer, and Locks of Love donates to children with long-term hair loss. You can also ask your local beauty salon for advice.
Most organizations want hair to be 8 to 10 inches long, and generally they want you to braid or tie your hair in a hair tie before cutting, and from there you mail your donation. Some organizations have requirements for whether your hair has been dyed, so check the charity’s requirements. If you are going to cut your own hair impulsively and cathartically, you can make it even more enjoyable by doing something good.