How to Deal With a Miscarriage
“Sorry, no heartbeat,” the doctor told me. She didn’t look very sorry for leaving the room so quickly — supposedly so I could pull on my underwear — that she didn’t hear me burst into tears.
There are many ways to terminate a pregnancy, from traditional toilet bleeding, to a missed miscarriage when you don’t even know you’ve had a miscarriage, to an infected egg when the baby hasn’t started growing at all, to an ectopic pregnancy where the fetus is implanted in the wrong place. I’ve had most of them – they all suck, let me tell you – and I’ve learned important ways to deal with miscarriage.
First, you are likely to be shocked. No matter how nervous you are about becoming a mom, no matter how skeptical you are about the well-being of pregnancy, you will be disappointed once in a million. And as horrible as it is – sad, frustrating, and emotional – the first thing you need to do is figure out how to start or end the miscarriage process.
There are several ways to terminate a failed pregnancy (and I’ve used most of them already).
1) Naturally
This means that you are simply letting nature take its course. You are waiting for the bleeding to begin and the pregnancy to pass. For very early pregnancies, such as a chemical pregnancy in which no heartbeat is recorded, this is often the recommended route. My very first miscarriage – by which I really didn’t know I was pregnant until the previous day – went this way, and it felt like it was a really late period. (If I had not taken three pregnancy tests, I would have assumed that was the case.)
Some women choose to do it naturally no matter how far away they are in the first trimester, but the downside is that you can wait a while, which completely scared me during the second miscarriage knowing there was a dead fetus. inside of me. Also, it could be very messy (ditto for the spooky). And it may also be incomplete, which will send you in for surgery anyway (see # 3).
2) Tablet
There is a pill that can help the miscarriage develop faster, especially if it has already begun. Misoprostol, which induces labor (and is often given with mifepristone in miscarriages), can also be unpleasant and, from what I have heard, extremely painful. I was advised not to use this because you will end up in surgery a lot anyway (see # 3).
3) Surgery
As you can see from my two previous findings, I am a huge fan of abortion surgery, especially D&C. I am not a doctor, so I cannot give any medical advice other than to tell you that every operation carries risks.
But as a patient, due to my third miscarriage, I preferred this method of removing the contents of the uterus, usually under general anesthesia. (There is a surgical procedure called “aspiration” that involves a vacuum rather than a general one, but I find it awful to stay awake, talk, and watch.) An ectopic pregnancy must be surgically removed.
This is why I preferred D&C:
- For the most part, your pregnancy ends quickly and painlessly.
- You don’t have to witness the sad bloodshed.
- This is the most effective way to make sure everything is removed and to prepare you for your next pregnancy.
- MOST IMPORTANT, and I can’t stress this enough, so I’ll give it a separate title …
4) Test
If you have surgery, you can get tested for what is medically called “products of conception.” This means they can check your fetus on the chromosome and find out what is wrong with it. For elderly patients, patients undergoing IVF, or, in my non-medical opinion, any patient, it is very convenient to know that there is something wrong with the fetus, so he did not. On the other hand, if they find that the baby is okay – that he is chromosomally normal – you can explore other solutions to prevent it from recurring.
In fact, I’m such a fan of this method that for my 4th – and last – miscarriage – I planned it straight away so I didn’t miss my chance to test the products.
Moving on
Real loss can only happen after you have dealt with the miscarriage: you are no longer pregnant . The sadness associated with this will be accompanied by real physical symptoms, such as decreased levels of hormones – those happy chemicals that fuel your lump. I myself often felt a noticeable pulling out of the intestine from a fall, as well as an increase in weight, which no doctor had warned me about.
Look, I’m not going to sugarcoat this: none of my miscarriages were good. And most people didn’t have any good things to say about that either, like, “At least you can get pregnant.” (Many thanks).
But maybe one good thing can come out of this is that I suffered from indecision and various procedures, so you don’t need to. Hopefully you get the hang of the physical part so you can focus on emotional healing and hopefully start trying again.