Essential Diner Lingo Quick Tutorial

Once upon a time, eateries were the best places to eat. The food was decent, cheap and the atmosphere was laid back. And most of the fun was the colorful slang of the diner staff. That’s what all these strange terms mean, hun.

Welcome to Retro Week , where we light up the flux condenser and introduce you to the 1950s know-how of everything from making casseroles to building fallout shelters to joys for kids to relax and play with trash.

Beverages

• City Juice, Adam’s Ale, Dog Soup : Water
• Dirty water, Joe’s cup, draw one, mud cup : coffee cup (“draw in the dark” is a cup of black coffee)
• Make this moo : add milk to coffee.
• Sand Blond : Coffee with Cream and Sugar
• A pair of boxes : two cups of coffee.
• Barley water : beer
• Black cow : chocolate milk or milkshake
• Swamp Water : Soda
• Battery acid : grapefruit juice
• Hug them : orange juice
• Mu juice, cow juice, baby juice, sweet Alice : milk
• Water for belching, water from a bottle : Seltser or sparkling water.
• Shot from the South, Atlanta Special : Coca-Cola
• Drag Across Georgia : Coca-Cola with Chocolate Syrup

Breakfast

• Clucking fruits, clucking berries, chicken fruits: eggs
• Second flop : two scrambled eggs instead of an easy one
• Wreck ’em : scrambled eggs
• Clucking and Grunting : Eggs and Bacon
• Two dots and a dash : two scrambled eggs and a strip of bacon.
• Roller : Sausage link
• Cowboy with Spurs : Western Omelette with French Fries
• Adam and Eve on the raft : two poached eggs on toast
• Chickens on the Raft : Eggs on Toast
• Whiskey : rye toast
• Birdseed : breakfast cereal
• Noah Boy : Slice of Ham (“Noah Boy with Murphy Carrying a Wreath” is ham and potatoes with cabbage)
• Burn the British : toasted English muffin
• The client will take a chance, clean the kitchen, sweep the floor : Hash (“secret in the alley” – a side order of hashing)
• Well- done dough with cow coating : toast with butter
• Heart Attack on the Grill : Cookies and Gravy
• Shingle with shimmy and a shake : Toast with butter and jam.
• Engine oil : Syrup

Dinner and supper

• Cow food : Salad
• Hockey Puck : Well-Dried Hamburger
• Yellow Blanket on a Dead Cow : Cheeseburger
• Walk with the Cow in the Garden : Burger with Lettuce, Tomatoes and Onions
• Radio : Tuna salad sandwich on toast (“tuna on toast” is tuna on toast, and it sounds like “turn it down”, meaning radio)
• First Lady : Ribs
• Bow-wow, bun, tubule steak, marmot, Coney Island, Coney Island chicken, Coney Island Bloodhound : Hot Dog
• Bloodhound in the Hay : Sauerkraut Hot Dog
• Butcher’s Revenge : Meatloaf
• Whistle berries, bullets : baked beans
• Frog sticks : French fries
• Everything hot : baked potatoes
• Bossy in a Bowl : Beef Stew
• GAC, jack : fried American cheese sandwich (Jack Benny if bacon is on)
• Hounds on the Island : Franks and Beans
• Mascaras Light and Cry : Liver and Onions
• Cluck and wrap : chicken enchiladas
• Mu and wrap : beef enchiladas
• Stampede Blanket : Bean and Beef Burrito

Dessert

• Fisheye, cat’s eye : tapioca pudding
• Houseboat : Banana Split
• Eve with lid : apple pie
• Nervous Pudding : Jelly
• Magoo : quiche
• Sleigh Special : Vanilla Pudding

Ingredients

• Mike & Ike : Salt and Pepper Shaker
• Yellow paint, Mississippi mud : mustard
• Hemorrhage : ketchup
• Cow paste, axle grease, slide grease : oil
• Yum-yum, sand, gravel : Sugar
• Gravel Train : Sugar Bowl
• Sea dust : Salt
• Bronx vanilla, halitosis, Italian perfume : garlic
• Herb : salad
• Breath : bow
• Maiden’s Delight : Cherry
• Wax : American cheese

Another

• 86 : Remove item from order (“wait …” also works)
• Bubble Dancer Dishwasher
• George Eddie : The Client Who Doesn’t Tip
• Soup Jockey Waitress
• Burn : put the hamburger on the grill.
• In the alley : served as a side dish.
• On the hoof : rarely cooked meat.
• Pittsburgh : Roast something or burn it to burn outside

Why did the chefs and waitress use such fancy terminology? No one is sure, but it has been around since the late 1800s. Some say it’s because silly names have helped short-term chefs remember everything, but it’s also fun, and it’s the little things that can help end a long day with a cup of coffee. So now you know everything you need to do to impress your friends and annoy the poor waitresses who don’t really talk like that anymore!

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