Reduce Daytime Tears From Caring for Children With a Parting Ritual
Throwing a young child into daycare or preschool can be difficult. There may be protests and crying. Your child can cling to your leg for life. When my daughter started kindergarten when she was one and a half, she cried every day for the first six weeks. The teachers were great and I knew she was safe and cared for, but it hurt me to see her so sad.
Many kindergarten directors recommend the “strip off” separation method. Disembark faster and be confident when leaving. If you’re sure, they’ll be sure … in the end. Don’t hesitate and try to help them adjust (“Look at all the good friends here!”) – this will only complicate the transition. And don’t sneak when they’re not looking. This is just despicable.
A farewell ritual can also help. In a Reddit thread about the daytime drama , one parent wrote that their kindergarten uses a “magic trick that acts like an enchantment.” The school makes a game by pushing mom or dad out the door. If the child is sad, someone will ask: “Maybe we can push mom out the door?” and if the answer is yes, all the kids will gather to help push mom out. Lori Michalich-Levin of Working Moms Against Guilt began using this tactic on her three-year-old son after her husband was overjoyed at how well it worked:
The Big Walking Out the door started out as a game between my son and his dad, but quickly became an important part of day-to-day childcare for the entire family. There is something about the little hands on my ass pushing me out the door that makes me smile every time. The teachers look at it madly, so it cheers everyone up. And my youngest sometimes even hires his little friends to help, and they shout: “Teamwork!” giving us a big push.
As Mikhalich-Levin notes, rituals give children a sense of predictability and stability. However, if you choose to do something that you can do alone with your child, such as three hugs, three kisses, and five, it is best to do this before you get out of the car. When it’s time to disembark, remember: the patch. Go.