You Need a Shoebox Full of Birthday Cards by Month
Have you ever heard of emotional labor ? The concept has been around since sociologist Arlie Hochschild defined the term in 1983. Basically, it is work that we do, professionally or personally, to regulate and present our emotions in a socially acceptable way – and to take care of our emotional well-being. others. This epic Metafilter thread about emotional labor touched on the things that people (often women) need to do to maintain a relationship: arrange enjoyable parties and dinners, buy suitable gifts for their families, and often for their partners’ families, and here’s the fun – send greeting cards.
Now the topic of greeting cards has caused a lot of controversy in this thread: it turns out that a lot of people don’t care about greeting cards.
I myself don’t really care about greeting cards to send or receive. Other than that, though … if I really think about it, I don’t care a little. When I open my inbox on my birthday and receive a couple of cards from a friend, my mother, or another family member, I get a tiny sound of goodwill, a reminder that there are people in this world who love me.
This brings me to my shoebox full of cards. I married a very large family with women who raised, say, 12 children and 65 grandchildren, and who still manage to send my children (my nephew’s children) greeting cards every year. I’d like to be more like these women who know maintaining relationships is the job of a million little peaks of goodwill – calling to ask about your interview, remembering you love apple pie, not pumpkin pie, sending you real notes old-fashioned mail.
I want to be like them. But I don’t like real work: every week to go to the store for cards, look for stamps, look for a pen, look for addresses, etc.
I saved a box from my last purchase of kids’ sneakers, cut 12 dividers out of cardboard and marked each month by month, and bought 100 greeting cards from Trader Joe’s ($ 1 each). I’ve attached a bunch of cards behind the separator for each month. At the beginning of each section, a piece of paper is printed with the dates of birth for that month and the addresses of the recipients.
Because I love hybrid organization solutions, that is, both paper and digital systems, my phone calendar also has all birthdays with a reminder of the first of every month. If someone has 1 or 2 birthday, I include them at the end of the previous month. The box contains stamps and pens.
Now, at the beginning of each month, I write a small note on several cards, address envelopes, and mail them. Birthdays towards the end of the month, I keep them on my desk along with outgoing mail and send them closer. I have several empathy and gratitude cards for other types of relationship maintenance.
Since I hate crafts, and my shoebox full of postcards is more utilitarian than cute, I won’t post a photo of my final product. Plus, that’s the whole point of Pinterest: if you want a practical yet eye-catching shoebox full of cards, check out this more aesthetic version .
You will need a labeler, a “cutter” (I just had to find one), cards, tape, and a pretty box from a craft store. Full instructions are here .
Is it labor? That’s not a lot. But that little effort is the foundation of a strong relationship, and from now on I want to try to give more than take. As far as Thanksgiving dinner goes, I think there is someone out there who doesn’t like pumpkin pie. Oh wait, it’s me.