How to Manage Personal Reviews During a Performance Review
Analyzing performance can be unnerving, especially if you’re not sure what you’re hearing from your boss. And if your manager has feedback for you that is more about your personality than your job, it can be difficult to figure out how to respond. Here’s how to deal with personal feedback so you can focus on improving your work.
Kieran Snyder, linguist and CEO of Textio , analyzed nearly 250 performance reviews for Fortune and found that women were more likely than men to experience negative personal feedback.
This kind of criticism of a negative personality – watch your tone! step back! “Stop judging!” – repeated twice in 83 critical reviews received by men. He is featured in 71 of 94 criticisms received by women.
Paola Cecchi-Dimelio, a lawyer and behavioral economist, writes in the Harvard Business Review about her similar findings.
One of my findings, based on an analysis of the content of selected annual performance reviews, shows that women are 1.4 times more likely to receive critical subjective feedback (as opposed to positive or critical objective feedback).
How to identify personal feedback
Regardless of your gender, this type of feedback is hard to see. Shannon Fitzgerald, director of human resources for Muse , explains that whenever someone gives you feedback on who or what you are, it falls under personal feedback. Here are some examples of characteristics:
- Abrasive
- Imperious
- Assertive
- Quiet
- Alarmed
- Stubborn
- Inflexible
Personal feedback isn’t always negative; you should also watch for characteristics that drive you into a gender stereotype, even if they are positive.
- Perfectionist
- Independent
- Stubborn
- Decisive
- Bold
- Useful
- Understanding
- Sensitive
- Optimistic
- Warm
You don’t want to miss out on leadership or development opportunities because your manager thinks you are not the right person.
You should also watch out for other reviews in your review that downplay your contribution and effectiveness. For example, a successful project you lead is credited with “everyone who works hard” or luck, not your skills or experience.
What to do when you get personal feedback
This type of feedback can be difficult to hear and even more difficult to deal with as it is often subjective. Fitzgerald recommends talking to the person who gave you the review. Strive for a transparent discussion of their feedback and what they really meant. After all, you want them to give you specific examples of your actions that relate to the characteristics mentioned, and specific steps you can take to solve their problems. You should leave with them, feeling that you can grow and improve. Fitzgerald explains how to get clarification:
So if someone is giving personal feedback, ask about the behavior that might have caused this perception. Dig deeper. A clarifying question might be, “What did I say or did that made you feel this way?” This will help them be more specific, as well as give you context for what actions triggered that perception.
If you later realize that you have been given personal feedback or that you cannot dive deeper in the moment, you can always go back. You don’t want to avoid getting more information because performance reviews can have a big impact on your career trajectory, as well as how your leader (and those who lead them) perceive your work. Fitzgerald provides an example of a phrase you can use to start a pending discussion:
“You know, I thought a little more about the way you said I was rude. This was not my intention, so I would like to clarify what I said or did that gave you that perception. “
If you need help with this conversation, Fitzgerald suggests contacting your HR department or your Company Employee Assistance Program (EAP), if available. You can also practice with a trusted friend or mentor. Give them an idea of how you think your boss will react or past interactions with him so that they can effectively play a role in the conversation.