Let’s All Stop Saying “Bless You”
Here is such a cool thing. When you are sick, allergic, or have something flying up your nose and have spasms and mucus, it is polite for everyone around you, including complete strangers, to pay attention. In English-speaking countries they say “Bless you”, in most of Europe they say “Health”. In almost all cultures, the polite answer is “Thank you.” For example, “Thank you for drawing attention to my uncomfortable body function.” For example: “Thank you for making me thank you, although I am probably still dealing with the fact that something inside of me is now outside of me.” For example: “Thank you for warning me that for the next three months I will have impromptu two-line conversations with strangers because my body thinks the flowers are trying to kill it.”
I’m not an asshole here! Western culture has come to an agreement over the past few years that perhaps we can all comment less on each other in public, especially on issues that people cannot control. Indeed, what other rule of etiquette encourages everyone to haste to say something in response to some function of the body? And before you tell me something malicious about bodily functions that occur below the belt, I will accept only those phrases that the Queen of England would say to a visiting dignitary on camera. There is nothing but “Bless you.”
What makes sneezing so special? Nothing. I’ll tell you why nothing, because sneezing has an Irish twin: cough. It is just as contagious, just as destructive, just as varied in its reasons. What do you do when someone coughs? If you’re polite, nothing. Unless he’s coughing all the time, then you can gently ask if he’s okay. If the cough is severe, you might expect the coughter to say “sorry,” but you’re probably fine if he doesn’t. You expect them to suppress coughs to the best of their ability and maybe wash their hands after that – you see, we have many rules of cough etiquette, none of which require everyone to pay attention to the cough. Why’s that? Etiquette makes people feel comfortable.
You probably believe, as I did just three minutes ago, that Bless You was originally intended to prevent demons from entering the body. But there is no reliable evidence for this story , according to the first Google result for the story, bless you . There is written evidence that people said “Bless you” as early as AD 150, when Rome was still feeding Christians to lions. So, if the phrase is about gods and demons, it’s about pagans.
There is no credible evidence for any origin of “Bless You.” We don’t really know how we started, but we haven’t stopped centuries after abandoning other ancient customs such as ritual sacrifices or witch trials. And I would really like to stop.
I know that I am not alone. Or I’m sure I’m not alone. I really wish I wasn’t alone in this, guys. And I suspect that given the type of people who tend to say “Bless you” to the public and those who don’t, most of us would happily give up on this custom.
But no one (except probably Ricky Gervais) wants to stop first. We don’t want to sound rude. We are waiting for some high-ranking figure to lead the attack, as John F. Kennedy allowed men to stop wearing hats. Well, don’t hold your breath because JFK didn’t actually start the hat- free trend , according to the first Google result for jfk’s hats .
But “Bless you” and “Health!” not universal. It is common in China, Japan and Korea to ignore sneezing. The Japanese said, “You see death!” but they gave it up eons ago , according to Google’s first result for Japanese sneeze ??? … Billions of people live great lives without saying to each other, “I heard you sneeze.” The rest of us can too.
So start now. Let’s make a deal right here to stop saying “Bless you.” At the moment, you can offend someone with your silence. If they object, you will politely apologize: “I didn’t mean to draw attention to your sneeze.” Hell, you can just pretend you think it’s a cough. It’s still enough to plant an idea in their head. Maybe next time they will do the same. And soon, when everyone stopped saying “Bless you,” we can blame the president for that.