Your Remote Boss Doesn’t Necessarily Hate You.
You have problems, I have advice. This tip does not contain powdered sugar – in fact, it does not contain sugar and can even be slightly bitter. Welcome to Tough Love .
This week we have a young professional who is finding it difficult to get used to remote management after having a more practical and responsive boss.
Mind you, I am not a therapist or any other healthcare professional, but just a guy who is willing to talk about it the way it is. I just want to give you the tools you need to enrich your damn life. If for any reason you don’t like my advice, feel free to file a formal complaint here . So let’s get on with it.
Hi, Patrick,
I’m soon 26 and still in my first job after college. I am no longer thrilled with this and do not know what to do. When I first started out, I had a great boss. We had a good working relationship, and even better, he believed in me and pushed me. From the very beginning, he told me that he saw a leadership potential in me. He said that I have the highest potential of all in our team. He encouraged me to speak at marketing conferences and made our entire team focus on professional development. Under his leadership, we had a great sense of a united team. And I felt like I was going somewhere.
This was the first half of my time at this job. The second half was not so pleasant. My first boss is gone, and his replacement is the whole thing. It’s difficult for me to build a relationship with her … she is not strong in this department and besides, she works remotely. I have never heard from her anything that would indicate that she sees in me “leadership potential” or something similar. There is no emphasis on professional development. In fact, I now have to twist my arms to attend marketing events, webinars, etc. Nobody else on the team does this. Our team has evolved into something like this “marketing product line” where the focus is on getting as much work as possible. The morale of the team is low. I’m not sure if my boss sees this as she works remotely. I’m also not sure if she worries her.
What should I do? I can’t go out and say hello boss. You’re really bad compared to my past. I have no one to trust at work. I’ve been so overwhelmed by this lately. And yes, I have applied for other positions. There are no interview offers yet. I would really appreciate it if I could listen to your thoughts.
Thank you, cross with the boss
Hi Cross with the boss:
It looks like your first boss was a great leader. He supported you, gave you advice, and, in fact, prepared you for future leadership. He was top notch, which is probably why he was hired by someone else. For more and better (or maybe retirement).
To be honest, Cross, most bosses are not like that. Even many of the good bosses I’ve had in the past didn’t always push me for the better, give me words of encouragement, or guide me on the path to greatness. In fact, most people in management are only concerned with bottom line. They are not all good mentors interested in helping the next generation, they are ordinary people who have their own problems. They just want you to finish the job so they don’t get yelled at by their own bosses. Basically, your first boss ruined all future bosses for you. Your new boss isn’t a bad boss, he’s just a normal boss who wants to get things done on time and isn’t interested in pampering you. Your company, your boss, they are not your friends , Cross. Welcome to the team.
Much of the problem, however, is that you and your coworkers are experiencing what I call the “pain of growing telecommuting.” You see, your old boss was there to actually see your work ethic and potential firsthand – something that your new boss can’t do since it’s deleted. All she needs is the results she sees at the end of the day and the brief communication you get with her during the conference call. This attitude leaves very little opportunity for your new boss to get to know you guys, give you advice or praise. Have you ever heard the phrase “out of sight, out of mind?” Here’s what’s going on here, and it takes some getting used to. No more gold stars.
Keep in mind, however, that text-based communications such as email and chat clients, which I’m sure you use, leave a lot of ambiguity. When I first started working remotely, I thought my bosses hated me because I read their emails and chats as negatively as possible in my head. When I got to know them better, I realized that I was wrong, and “excellent” actually meant “great!” Relax. If you are not told that something is wrong, everything is fine.
But you feel stuck, so what should you do? First, don’t tell your boss that she’s shitty (she’s normal as far as I can tell). Take the initiative here and talk to your boss more. Do you think she’ll just magically notice that you’re sad when she’s away? You must communicate! Tell her that you were on a certain career path before your previous boss left and that you would like to continue. I mean, if you don’t tell her, how will she know about it?
Also, chat with your coworkers. Now that your boss is removed, you guys need each other more than ever. Find a way to trust each other. This will help you all arrive at the same page and, if necessary, ask for changes together. And keep rolling your arms around to attend marketing events, webinars, and more if that’s what you want. Hell, that’s what most people have to do to get it. Finally, keep applying for other positions and other companies in case things don’t get better. In fact, never stop doing it. Here’s how to climb in the professional world these days.
That’s all for this week, but I still have a lot of frank and honest advice. Tell me what is bothering you? Does work upset you? Are you having problems with a friend or colleague? Is your love life going through rough times? Do you just feel lost in life, as if you have no direction? Tell me, maybe I can help. I probably won’t make you feel warm and misty inside, but sometimes you need tough love. Ask a question in the comments below or email me at the address you see at the bottom of the page ( please include “TIP” in the subject line ). Or tweet me #ToughLove ! Also, DO NOT WRITE ME IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR INQUIRY TO OPEN . I don’t have time to answer everyone for fun. “Until next time, figure it out yourself.