Talking Dirty the First Time
Dirty talk is hot on its own and is great for your sex life as well. It helps you stay in the moment and better navigate what you are experiencing. It helps you develop greater sexual confidence. It helps your partner know what you like and reduces their anxiety about performance. It’s also an easy way to play with your fantasy. This is how messy it is to talk to newbies.
Feel comfortable
Many people have never tried speaking dirty before and are worried about where to start. Sex is still a taboo topic, so the idea of talking about it out loud in the presence of another person can seem overwhelming. If you are new to dirty talk, you can first read my last article on How To Talk About Sex Conveniently . In this article, you will learn which words are easier to use than others, and how to link some basic sentences. Another tip: start with heavier breathing and moaning first, and then gradually move on to verbal speech.
Initiate
Many people get nervous about having dirty talk if they have never done it before. But it doesn’t have to be that hard. You can start with simple phrases like, “How good.” My favorite recommendation is to do a rep after sex. After you and your partner have just finished, talk to your partner about how that particular session went. Tell them the details of what you really liked. You already know what happened, so just share your experience rather than inventing something new. If you are new to dirty talk, you can start very simply and simply by saying, “That was great” or “I was speechless.” Once you feel more comfortable try more detailed things like, “This position we tried gave me really good angles.”
Consider various communication options
If you find messy face-to-face conversation too daunting at first, you can always start with a text message or email. Typically, communicating in writing is easier as you have more time to think about what to say and you don’t have to be face to face when you speak your dirty speeches.
What to say
There are many different things you can say with dirty talk. Here are some examples:
Tell us how you are feeling at the moment
One of the easiest ways to talk dishonestly is to simply describe how you are feeling at the moment. You don’t need to think about anything detailed or complex. Just share what’s going on for you.
Examples:
“You feel so big inside me.”
“It’s so good that I can hardly stand it.”
Give feedback
People tend to get nervous about feedback because they think they need direction . But feedback is another way to share your feelings in the moment. It’s just a little straighter.
Examples:
“A little to the left.”
“Stronger.”
“Do not stop”.
Ask for what you want
You can also be more direct and ask specifically for what you want or want to try.
Examples:
“Keep your hands above your head.”
“Take off your clothes.”
Compliment
Another simple form of dirty talk is to compliment your partner.
Examples:
“I can’t stop staring at your ass.”
“You turn me on so much.”
Recall
This is another great kind of dirty talk for newbies. You can ease your way into messy conversations by discussing memories of wonderful times you’ve already shared.
Examples:
“Do you remember that time when we …?”
“Do you remember when we were [fill in the form] …?”
Let’s talk about fantasies
Dirty talk is a great way to test your fantasies before trying them out in real life. Many couples find that mere dirty talk of fantasy is engaging enough. (If there is a fantasy that you would like to talk dirty about, but you are sure you do not want to do it in real life, be sure to let your partner know about it.)
Examples:
“I’m thinking about watching you attack another woman.”
“What do you think it would be if I tied you up and made you my slave?”
“This scene from the movie was so hot. I can’t get it out of my head. “
Role-playing games
You can use dirty talk to try on a different persona. Maybe you want to be more bossy or more submissive. You can also use words or language that you don’t normally use. It can be very hot to use taboo words like whore, especially if you won’t be using that language outside the bedroom. (Keep in mind that you can talk dirty in the bedroom and still be a sexually positive feminist. The conscious decision to use or allow your partner to use a particular language is different from being forced upon you.)
Examples:
Call me your whore.
Tease
You can use dirty talk to taunt your partner.
Examples:
I have a surprise in store for you tonight.
“I will make you beg for it.”
“I’m touching myself right now.” (This is good for sending as a sixth when your partner is not around.)
Share your status
A more utilitarian use of dirty talking is to let your partner know about your orgasmic status. If you are not going to have an orgasm with your partner, you can let him know when you’re ready for him to stop.
Examples:
“I’m getting close.”
“Don’t stop doing it. I’m going to come. “
“It’s so good that I can’t take it anymore. You must be inside me. “
If you get stuck
I think it’s a good idea to have a few basic phrases in your back pocket to use if you can’t think of what to say. There is nothing worse than being silent while your partner is talking dirty to you! Don’t complicate matters by asking questions such as “This is so nice”, “Tell me more” or “What do you want to do with me?”