How to Turn Off an Inconvenient PDA at Family Gatherings
You have problems, I have advice. This tip does not contain powdered sugar – in fact, it does not contain sugar and can even be slightly bitter. Welcome to Tough Love .
This week we have a brother who is tired of watching his sister suck her face with her boyfriend at family events.
Mind you, I am not a therapist or any other healthcare professional, but just a guy who is willing to talk about it the way it is. I just want to give you the tools you need to enrich your damn life. If for any reason you don’t like my advice, feel free to file a formal complaint here . So let’s get on with it.
Hi, Patrick,
My sister brought her boyfriend home for the holidays. They have been together for less than a year and have been practicing the CCP a lot. We opened presents in the living room with them, my parents and me, and every time I looked at them, they kissed passionately. I was opening something from my sister and the packaging was difficult to open, so it took a little longer than usual, so my sister literally laughed and said something like, “Don’t mind us, we’re just going to take a break here. …
This is the second time her boyfriend has been to my parents’ house. They were also quite touchy and kissed the first time they were here. All of us, with the exception of our parents, are between 30 and 25 years old. I’m kind of worried that she’s doing this. This is disrespectful to my parents, and besides, I know that I am embarrassed by it, and my parents are embarrassed. Do you have any suggestions on how to stop them? She is quite defensive and irritable. I know I can just ask them not to kiss in front of us, but my instinct tells her that she’ll just get angry and it won’t solve the problem. Is there a less confrontational way to approach this?
Or am I just a prude? So far, her boyfriend seems like a good guy and she always provokes kissing / touching. Although he doesn’t close it. I don’t know the person. It just seems to me that doing it in front of your potential future relatives is a strange move. They seem to be still in the honeymoon phase of a relationship where they are obsessed with each other, so maybe this will end over time? I do not know. Curious what you think. On the one hand, it may just be unpleasant for me to see my sister kissing someone, but on the other hand, I feel that it is quite reasonable to expect them to hold back enough not to do it in front of our eyes. I love your letter. Have a nice vacation.
Hurray, uncomfortable brother
Hello awkward brother:
On the one hand, Bro, they are not teenagers, they are over 30. It would be one thing if these schoolchildren went crazy in front of dad and mom, but they are not. They are adults who are allowed to do adult business when and when they please, even at home, with their families. You guys may be “disgusted” to witness this, but that’s their prerogative.
On the other hand, they are not teenagers, they are over 30 . Honeymoon phase or not, they need to be somewhat aware of what their actions are causing in other people. All ads about kissing “do not pay attention to us,” particularly immature and just, well, nothing. If this sight is disgusting to you, I cannot imagine what it would be like for your parents. I just imagine your sister looking at your parents while she moans and groans for her boyfriend, as if to say, “Thanks for giving us a place to fuck, guys.” You’re not a prude here, Bro, and it’s not that hard to expect them to hold back around you guys during family reunions. This is too much and, frankly, disrespectful.
Unfortunately, Bro, in addition to the farcical antics of sitcoms (for example, trying to constantly sit between them while laughter plays, or spray them with water like a cat in a warm place, and say things like “I’m sorry, you looked dry”), confrontation is yours the best strategy is here. However, you should return to the classic approach to explaining what her actions cause in you and the rest of the family. Don’t tell her to stop right away (she might start out of immature rebellious anger), just tell her how you and your parents feel a little uncomfortable when they dry your hump, sip on cocoa, open presents, and listen to Amy Grant’s Christmas album. If she’s defensive, feel free to mention that you guys love her boyfriend and think he’s a good guy and that they can do whatever they want behind closed doors. All you ask is for her to hold her tongue while your family graciously welcomes her still brand new boyfriend into their home. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll go with a spray bottle.
That’s all for this week, but I still have a lot of frank and honest advice. Tell me what is bothering you? Does work upset you? Are you having problems with a friend or colleague? Is your love life going through rough times? Do you just feel lost in life, as if you have no direction? Tell me, maybe I can help. I probably won’t make you feel warm and misty inside, but sometimes you need tough love. Ask a question in the comments below or email me at the address you see at the bottom of the page ( please include “TIP” in the subject line ). Or tweet me #ToughLove ! Also, DO NOT WRITE ME IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR INQUIRY TO OPEN . I don’t have time to answer everyone for fun. “Until next time, figure it out yourself.