How to Motivate Your Young Athlete (Without Being a Parent)
There is a reason why some youth sports coaches actively tell parents that “do not train, only get sick” from the outside is not allowed. We’ve all seen – or, by the way, have been – these overzealous parents shouting instructions all over the field. This is because watching your child play sports can be challenging, especially when – at least in our minds – they just aren’t trying hard enough.
To be clear, we are not advocating forcing your child to do sports that they don’t like or forcing them to work harder where they simply don’t have fun or desire. But if you’ve ever watched your once-keen soccer player suddenly start roaming the field, staring up at the sky instead of at the game, here are some tips on how to deal with it.
Does your child really want to play sports?
The first thing to start is to find out if they still want to play. Instead of approaching them with a tone of annoyance after a mediocre game, take a quiet time to say something like, “I noticed you haven’t been overly excited over the past few games. Are you still interested in the game? »If so, you can dig deeper.
Try to find the reason for the lack of motivation.
If they don’t show any drive or enthusiasm on the pitch, there might be something deeper going on. They may be frustrated with their skills. Maybe they feel buried under a mountain of pressure to succeed. Maybe they are not sure where they fit into the team or how they can best contribute. Maybe they don’t like their coach’s style. Try asking questions such as “What is your favorite thing about this sport?” “What do you like the most?” or “When do you not like playing it?” “What thoughts arise when you don’t feel like playing?”
Be aware – this probing may not work at first. Some children become silent and give monosyllabic answers, just to stop the investigation. If it does, toss it and try again when they might be in a more responsive mood.
Encourage and praise their efforts.
You may or may not receive honest answers from your child about their inner thoughts and feelings about sports. But you can (and should) focus on their strengths and reward their efforts, even if you consider them minimal at the moment. If a young athlete does not play at the proper level (and his parents constantly accumulate expectations and criticism), most likely, they will internalize the criticism and play even worse.
Instead of repeating what you see, what they don’t do , focus on what they do well. Did they support their teammates or did they communicate well with them? Can you say that they struggled to stay in position when they had to struggle with it in the past? Celebrate it. Swallow this need for results and think about their long-term self-worth. Do we want their childhood sports memories to include a parent who was always disappointed in their performances? Or about someone who said: “You really ran away hard today!”
Find something – anything – positive to acknowledge it, and make sure you rate their efforts above their results.
Take an honest look inside
While we ostensibly talk about our children’s athletic behavior (and perceived lack of effort), our own expectations also play into the game. When we are frustrated, self-esteem is worth doing. What are our expectations and are they based on what we want or what our child wants? Are they realistic? Why are we so concerned about their work? What does the way they play say about us ?
We need to be honest and make a concerted effort to keep our child from doing what we want for ourselves .
Be approachable, not assertive
While it is okay to offer additional workouts, do not impose them and say that this is what they “need to get better.” Quite frankly, they may not want to get better. In order to become better at sports, you need to strive for excellence. If they want to work out in the backyard, do so. If they want more training, find out how you can provide it. But getting them to train at home or practice additional skills can easily backfire. Follow your child’s example and be available to what he or she is interested in.
Practice of making
After going through all of the above, sometimes the only way remains is to let go of the gas pedal and accept how and why your child wants to play this sport. Are they here for fun? Friendship? Exercise and endorphins? Great. As difficult as it is, accept their intentions and ambitions without imposing your own on them.