Here’s a Lady Dip for Your Lady Chips
What a time to be a woman! Not only do we finally have a female Colonel Sanders, Doritos announced that they will be producing a quieter, less messy and more female-friendly chip.
I don’t know what this wave of feminism is, but this is really our time. Thanks to a chip that embodies the belief that women should be seen (without the ugly Dorito dust on our hands) and not heard, we can finally have a snack with “more fun”, as men do . Usually, to get around what I call a “crunchy puzzle,” I have my man chew my Doritos for me and then spit them in my mouth so I can swallow them silently. It also protects my fingers from the nacho cheese dust, which is good because I hate to suck on phalanges in public. (What does my man do dust on his hands? He just wipes it off on my face!)
As you can see, like so many other aspects of female existence, eating Doritos has become a kind of production, so I, for one, am grateful that they release these inspiring triangles of processed corn. To celebrate this event, I took a dip. It’s pink for obvious reasons. To make it you will need:
- 1 glass of sour cream
- 8 ounces cream cheese
- 2 tablespoons Heinz chili sauce
- 1 tablespoon sriracha
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
Place everything in a food processor and let it shake until you have a creamy light pink sauce. (Okay, technically it’s not so much “real pink” as “salmon,” but we need the sriracha in there to warm up a little.) Scrape the sauce into an airtight container and freeze until the lady’s chip appears. on us. If you just need to pamper yourself in front of them, be sure to grab the snack around the corner so you don’t get your fingers tied up, and leave it on for a few minutes so it turns into the soft, squishy triangle that wins. I confuse you. (Oh, and don’t forget the tweed pepper heart. Ladies love the tweed garnish.)