You Can Ignore This Silly Wedding Gift Rule.
As the wedding season picks up steam, you may be wondering how much is appropriate to spend on a gift for a happy couple. Fortunately, you no longer need to use the old rules to figure this out, because there is a simple answer: whatever you can afford.
Lizzie Post, great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post and co-host of the Emily Post podcast Awesome Etiquette , says the price of your gift shouldn’t “cover your plate” – one of those widespread “rules” you might have heard before.
Post finds it impolite to ask how much a couple is spending on a wedding. So instead of worrying about how much an open bar costs, consider your own budget. “Your gift should always be within your personal budget,” Post says. “You decide it’s based on your connection to the person who is getting married, your own gift-giving style, the desire and generosity at that moment, and what you can do.”
So what kind of pressure do people have to spend big bucks on a wedding gift? A 2018 TD Ameritrade Millennials & Money study found that 53 percent of millennials say they would be willing to go into credit card debt to attend a friend or family member’s wedding, according to CNBC . There is no doubt that wedding season can eat up your discretionary spending, but when it seeps onto your credit card, it’s time to rethink your gift.
So what should you spend? There is no golden rule. This largely depends on your relationship to the couple. And as CNBC notes, “You don’t have to spend the same amount on every wedding, even for couples who work in the same group of friends.” Finances are changing. If you really want to put a number on, here’s what The Knot recommends:
- Colleague and / or distant family friend or relative: $ 50-75
- Relative or Friend: $ 75-100
- Close family member or close friend: US $ 100–150
And if your friends are really worried that you didn’t spend enough money on the gift – well, they’re probably not best friends anyway.