How to Adjust to a New City After the Excitement Subsides
So … you have six weeks of new life in a new city.
Or six months.
Or a year.
No matter how long it takes, at some point your big step will start to feel less like an exciting life change and more like a daily routine. That’s when you start thinking about everyone you left behind – your friends, your family, your favorite taco truck with the guy who knew your order – and you start asking yourself why you didn’t have as many new friends as you hoped. … … Why none of the tacos taste as good as at home. Why do you still think of where you came from as your home, and have you made the wrong decision to move?
When you move to a new location, it often feels like an opportunity to rewrite your life. New house with new furniture. Maybe a new job. A completely new group of people to meet in new restaurants. Sports, arts and clubs – there are so many ways to get involved.
And then you have six months, and your new home starts looking a little messy around the edges, and your new job requires you to work late, and none of the people you’ve met so far become friends. This is also the moment when you may start to feel like you are losing touch with your old friends – of course, you are texting, chatting on Skype and planning to visit them, but they are not as involved in your life as they once were. and you start to disperse.
There is a reason that moving is consistently considered one of the most stressful activities people can do. Of course, there is the stress of physically packing and unpacking all of your belongings, but there is also the stress of pulling out roots, as the metaphor says, and waiting to see if they start growing in new soil.
If you feel insecure after your transplant, there are steps you can take to bring a little excitement back to your new location – and perhaps make it more like home.
Talk to one of those new people you met
It’s easy to underestimate how long it takes to turn someone you know into a friend. If you’ve met someone who you think has the potential for friendship, you have to work a little bit to make that friendship a reality. This means that you ask your friend if they would like to have a coffee / watch a movie / go for a taco.
It will be embarrassing to reach out to someone you hardly know, but you’ll have to make a few game dates before you start making friends.
Sign up for the event
What did you dream of doing when you moved to a new city? Cycling along the waterfront? Tasting every craft beer in town? It’s time to find other people who are doing the same.
Yes, you can ride the bike yourself, but that’s not the point. Your job is to meet people without having to make a date over a cup of coffee every time you want to talk, which means that you are signing up for an event. Preferably with weekly meetings.
Finding an activity that works for you can take several tries, so don’t be discouraged. You will be most successful when you find a place to connect with your peers. For example, if you are the youngest / oldest person in a book club, this is probably not the book club for you.
If you’ve moved in with a partner or family, it’s still worth finding an activity just for you, but you should also look for an activity you can do together, be it a cooking class or a community garden. Sometimes it’s easier to make friends as a team!
Spend more money on local businesses
If you miss the days when you were a regular in a restaurant or bar (or your local bookstore or yarn store), it’s time to find a new favorite spot.
Many of us put it off when we move to a new location because we don’t have a lot of extra money to spend. After all, we just bought a bunch of new furniture! But it is worth allocating such expenses to the budget. Getting to know your area is an important part of moving to a new location, as well as a great way to get to know your neighbors.
Deep clean your home
If you were one of those lucky ones to move into a newly cleaned apartment or house, well … there are probably already a few rings around the drain and crumbs under the stove, right? Take the day to clean up the clutter and clean out your counters (whether it’s yours or the previous tenant’s) and your home is new again.
Meet old friends
If you feel like you are losing contact with important people in the past, bring them back into your present. Make a phone call. Schedule Skype. Send a postcard. You won’t have the kind of relationship you had when you and your friends could see each other on a regular basis, but that only means you can create a new type of friendship – and there are many ways to do it. This.
Plan your vacation
You may feel like you got burned out in your new city, but maybe you just got burned out . It might be time to plan your vacation.
Even if you’re only making a weekend trip to the nearest tourist attraction, there is something about getting out of town and spending a few nights elsewhere that makes you keep coming back … well, like getting home. If you get the chance to go on a longer trip, you will come back refreshed and more grateful for your own bed.
And if you end up visiting a place you recently moved from, one that may still have its nostalgic hold on your mind, you might be surprised at how much it feels like a place where you used to live. You will miss him when you leave, but not as much as you thought.