How Not to Be a Dummy at Concerts
While concerts can be transcendental experiences that inspire collectivism, unlike anything else on this earth, anyone who has been to the show has at least one story of another audience member spoiling the experience with some form of destructive behavior.
Whether they’re new to a concert setting, think metal show conventions apply to folk concerts, or just act like a jerk, there are many ways people – inadvertently or not – can ruin everyone else’s night. So if you’re a gig newbie who wants to look professional during the festival season, or if you’re a regular who gets dirty looks a lot (or worse), here are some basic guidelines on how to go pro. a respectful viewer, both in relation to the performer and in relation to other members of the audience.
Do not shout with requests
Trust me, I know what it is like to be caught in the delightful moment when you see your musical heroes and develop an unquenchable thirst for your favorite song. But please, if you even have a suspicion of respect for your musical idol (s) standing in front of you, do not shout out the song you want to hear. Unless they’re specifically asking for fan requests, which rarely happens, take your time.
The reason for this is twofold. First: Aplea from some overly zealous announcement to listen to that deep composition 10 years ago, which they never played live , will not convince them to spontaneously abandon their set list and put it just for you. Second: It’s disgusting and distracting, and usually triggers a chain reaction of people – in my extensive experience on the show, mostly men – outrageously trying to beat each other’s fandom. This is not a very good view. Please don’t do this. Besides, every last drop of irony in the cry of “Freebird!” dried up eons ago. So cut out this one too.
Don’t pester the performer.
Yelling with requests is annoying, but yelling things like “You’re hot!” or “Marry me!” in most cases, incredibly annoying to the musician. It’s perfectly okay to think about these things (who wouldn’t want to marry Frank Ocean?), But voicing them usually results in uncomfortable grins or awkward “thank you.” To make matters worse, they interrupt their banter between songs to try and start some sort of exchange between the performer – the person everyone in the room should see – and you, randomized band member # 534. Simply put, people don’t pay. for listening to your sharp wit, and the artist does not want to make new friends. We’ll meet them later at the merchandise kiosk; the middle of a set is just not the time.
Sorry tall people you need to move away
If you are generally considered a “tall person,” you are probably used to getting in the way of others. It’s a sad reality, but until someone invents a shape-shifting place that is shaped to provide ideal vantage points for visitors of all sizes, tall people will have to retreat. Ultra-tall people will probably find it difficult to see, but just try to be aware of who you are approaching.
Mosh only when appropriate
Unless you’re attending a metal or punk show where some form of moshing is usually expected, you probably shouldn’t be doing it. If no one else is doing moshem, you probably shouldn’t use it. If it’s a slow, mellow song, you definitely shouldn’t touch it. If people are exclusively into push-moshing (bumping and pushing each other), you probably shouldn’t start hardcore dancing (aggressively swinging and pushing to the rhythm of the music). And if you’re a pit monkey monkey who sees a forgetful rookie about to be wiped out, be the one to pull them aside and warn them not to walk away with their heads down.
Don’t talk while filming
Sing, scream together (if it’s a scream-worthy song, not during a muted acoustic ballad), cry, laugh, or croak uncontrollably in an overwhelming sensation of pure sonic bliss. Even quickly blurt out in the ear of a friend or partner that you love them during the song that brought you two together. Just please – seriously, we all implore you – don’t talk while filming. For someone to hear what you are saying, you have to shout over the music, which essentially has the same effect as whispering in a movie theater. You are not as subtle as you think.
If you walk through a crowd, do it politely.
If you are in the back and want to get closer to the front, move quickly but patiently. Look for holes in the crowd and slip through each one like control points in a video game. But try not to linger in the aisles for too long, as you are most likely either blocking someone or pressing against them. It is always wise to move in groups of three or four so that you and your associates do not pass by the same people one by one, forcing them to move on. If you have a large team and the front seems to be clogged, you should just settle for where you are. The optimal cheat is to occupy the passageways created by people moving away from the stage so you can sneak in while the sea is parting. But if you get to a point where the next move seems out of reach, you need to set up camp. Pushing tons of people apart to satisfy your personal viewing desires is, as we say in the industry, a huge move.
Crowdsurfing, but don’t kick anyone
As with the moshing code of conduct, if no one else is crowdsurfing, you probably shouldn’t try. But if the set is really buzzing and everyone seems to be dancing intensely, you can signal that the surf has begun by gesturing to one or two healthy people around you to kick you out into the crowd. Then again, if this isn’t a hardcore show where many of these norms go beyond, don’t just jump on someone’s back without warning and expect them to lift you generously. And while you are there, lie either on your back or on your stomach. Do not swing your legs or try to kneel on people and always be prepared to fall. If you agree to ride hundreds of yards over a mass of complete strangers, you must accept the possibility of a violent fall.
Know when to take a photo or video
Capturing the moment with photos here and there is understandable, but using your phone to record entire songs (or sets) usually gets in the way of those behind you. Also, are you really going to come back and watch this video more than once? If you’re at a festival, chances are that the videographer is already filming it in higher quality and better angles than you’ve ever gotten from the audience, and almost every show, even a small local one, has someone taking photos. on the DSLR.
Finally, do you really want to be that person with Insta’s 20-part narrative of dark, wobbly, location-based concert footage? Nobody wants this kind of content in their feed, guys. Plus, flash photography is very distracting for performers, so if you’re going to take multiple shots, ask the venue staff if the group is cool with the flash.
Keep your hands to yourself
Regardless of the type of show, no one should ever feel uncomfortable at a concert. If you’re here to grope for crowdsurfers, without having to cling to others as you walk through the audience, or to try and hug ( or worse ) the artists while they’re playing, stay home and reevaluate your motivations. Shit is disgusting and has no place in a musical (or any other) setting.
Eli Enis is a Western, NY music journalist who currently lives in Pittsburgh. He has signatures on Billboard, Noisey, Uproxx, Bandcamp, and more, and he always drinks seltzer.