Help Your Little One Through a Difficult Transition With a Farewell Ceremony
When it’s time for your little one to let go of something big , the struggle becomes real. These tiny tyrants are common villains, and giving up long-standing comforts (or any old sandpit-picking thing for that matter) is often not easy. However, I have learned that if you create a ceremony to celebrate your toddler’s budding independence that gives them a sense of purpose, pride, and goodwill, the drama will be thrown away. Really.
Take a pacifier, for example. A small rubber handle, a symbol of childhood, a crutch that babies and parents rely on to bring peace and tranquility to their days and nights. Our daughter was so addicted to pachi that she had a bowl full of them by her bedside. We would sneak in like thieves at night and try to get things out of her mouth when we felt she needed to rest, but she would shove them back in and continue to suck. We heard a sound through the baby monitor – it was like the creak of a small rubber train on a circular road.
Our niece, who was a year older, was no better. Her parents just raised their hands up and said, “She’s not going around the island with this … Right ?”
Discover Binky the Fairy, a magical savior closely associated with the children’s toy business. How does it work:
When it’s time to move away from pacific addiction, ask your child to think of a toy that he or she really, really wants, something that shouts, ” I’m big!” I’m awesome! I GOT! (For our girl, it was a turquoise mini scooter, just in time for her second birthday.) Help your child write a note to the fairy saying something like, “I’m ready for you to pass my grazes to the newborns in the garden. the world that needs them and would like to receive an X class award for them, please. ” Soon after you send it, let the pacifiers mysteriously disappear and leave the present in their place. (Our child even received a bonus gift for ALL the patients she so kindly “donated”: a helmet for her travels.) Separation will be beneficial and encouraging, not traumatic and heartbreaking. Your child may never look back.
You can use ceremonies to help children go through other important transitions:
- Stop repeating “Let go, let go,” and instead try asking a toddler who is willing to give up diapers to help collect the ones left in your home and send them to other babies in need. (Alternatively, go to the shelter to donate the box together.)
- If it’s time to finally abandon favorite soft toy or blanket that is pulled around the block too many times, read a remarkable series of rabbits Mo Willems Knuffla (in order, or just go to the last book, Knuffle to Bunny the Free, if you are you in a hurry) and, following their example, generously pass on this treasure to another child.
- When it’s time for your little one to move into the large crib, do not leave an eviction notice in his crib. Help him say goodbye, for example by writing a picture book of memories or letting him choose a new large blanket and sheets. Then throw a new party in bed (with pillow tosses, bubbles and a disco) and relax with his favorite books or lullabies along with a new bedtime ritual for that milestone, if you will. If your child feels like he is moving on to something bigger and more interesting, but is still somewhat in control of the situation, and not just forced to change, you are all bound to catch more Zzzs.