I’m Chris Ballue, Aka Caspar Babypants, and “This Is How I Parent”
You may know Chris Ballu as the leader of the 90s alt-rock group The Presidents of the United States of America. But if you’re under, say, eight, you’re probably most familiar with him as Caspar Babypants , the “kindie-rock” icon that makes family friendly music on themes like asoap bubblethat doesn’t follow the crowd ,but a tick that finds its place on the free couch, and ablackberry pie falling from the sky . An experienced father of two, he shared his parents with us.
Name: Chris Ballyw Residence: Seattle Job: Artist Family: Mary-Lynn Ballyw (ex-wife), Kate Endle (wife), Augie (21) and Josie (18)
What kind of music did you listen to as a child?
A small group that people don’t know much about called The Beatles dominated my childhood. I had a sergeant. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, when it came out in 1967, I didn’t even know there was another band on the planet, much later. I didn’t even know the Beatles had other records until I was five! I loved the way they took me on a journey into the surreal visual world on Sgt. Pepper , and that tone still dominates my songwriting.
Tell us a little about your family and your career. Was life mostly according to plan or were there any surprises?
This was all a surprise. I never really knew where my crazy life was going, and in a way, this open sense of opportunity probably made it all possible. I suppose I was counting on success in music, but that was far from a foregone conclusion when I made the commitment to devote all my time to songwriting. Career and family went uphill at the same time, so everything changed at once. It was pretty disorienting, but exciting at the same time. The adrenaline has carried me through these sleepless nights and rock ‘n’ roll tours for several years.
Tell us about your morning routine.
Once with young children, I got up with them early so that my wife could sleep. These were the greatest moments of my life as a parent. Everything was peaceful and our house faced east overlooking the Cascade Mountains, so watching the lights change and the day emerge with a warm little peanut baby was the best part of my day. These days, as the kids have grown up and gone, my routine has changed a bit. I get up at about 7:30 in the morning, then I do qigong for 30 minutes, and then a light breakfast. It’s much less memorable than my newborn days.
Do you involve your children in work?
When they were young and still unable to crawl or move, I would lay them out on a blanket and improvise songs about how much I loved them so that they would not be “involved” but definitely were “involved” in songwriting! Later they wrote songs with me and helped me sell merchandise at my concerts.
What are your favorite family rituals?
After we have all sat down to dinner, we connect our little fingers or hold hands, and we all take a deep breath, lifting our clasped hands up. Then we exhale and lower our arms. He separates cooking from food and grounds us.
How do you unpack?
I mediate, walk in the woods and eat really clean food. I find doing something good for my body helps me to relax.
What are you most proud of as a parent?
I am most proud of how my children take off and become independent people. Even before they appeared, I had the idea in my head that being a parent means becoming a good person who can go out into the world without you and be a useful healthy and positive member of the world’s population. My kids are just starting this part of their life, and I’m most proud of how it happens.
What do you want your child to learn from your example?
I want them to learn to think creatively, find out how they want to live, and achieve it for themselves. Living in someone else’s script is one of the most destructive things you can do, so I want them to know themselves and make choices based on how they feel at the moment. This is what I tried my best to do and finally achieved it, and I hope they learn from my example.
How can parents awaken a love of music in their children at an early age?
Your best bet is to just listen to music at home. Writing silly funny songs with kids is another great thing we did. I’m not that big of a fan of lessons – listening, singing and composing silly songs out of thin air are great moments for parents and kids to communicate.
Has anyone ever given you parenting advice that you really liked?
There is a book by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlisch, “ How to Speak, so that your children listen and listen, so that your children speak,” which acts as a guide for people for me and my family. We held him by the phone and ran to him when faced with a situation that we could not handle.
[The authors] learned from John Gottman, and this book offers parents an incredible opportunity to learn to relate to their children through empathy. Really hearing someone’s needs, even if they are unrealistic and unattainable, makes that person feel heard. It makes the child feel strong even if they are not getting what they want. It also makes them feel safe and caring for them, even if they don’t get what they want. This sense of security will go a long way in order for the child to grow up to feel aware and able to express to others what they want out of life.
The only thing I would like to say to other parents who are pursuing a career:
Show your kids who you really are. First, of course, you must find out who you really are! If your career is demanding but reflects standards that are admirable, philanthropic, or serving a greater good, then your career is part of your example that your children will learn through osmosis as you raise them. Know yourself and your children will follow his example.