Challenge Your Kids to Give Gifts This Year
It all started with a Christmas present for my daughter-in-law (or “Aunt” as she is called) a few years ago: Trying to choose gifts for all of our large family members, I was running out of creative ideas. I asked my then four-year-old son what he wanted to give his aunt.
“What do you think she needs?” I suggested.
“I think this is a nail art kit,” he said, “and some nail polish.”
This was an unexpectedly great offer. I took my son to Target and helped him choose a gift; Returning home, we wrapped it up and got down to the difficult task of waiting for Christmas. When he finally managed to give it on Christmas morning, it was a huge success: my son was proud that his aunt loved his gift so much, and my aunt was delighted that my son paid enough attention to her preferences to guess that she might like it. …
It’s okay for kids to think mostly about themselves – they are naturally self-centered and difficult to get them to consider the wants and needs of others. During the holidays, when kids are inundated with compelling toy advertisements and requests for New Year’s lists, and the threat of making a list of “naughty or cute” Santa, this goal becomes much more difficult to achieve.
But it seemed to me that I accidentally hacked the code by asking my son to think of a present for his aunt that she really would like to receive. What if that’s all it really takes to raise kids who are more concerned with giving than receiving for Christmas – handing over their shopping list as they see fit?
Every year since my son first came up with his wonderful aunt gift idea, I have encouraged my children to consider gift ideas – for each other, for my husband and me, and for our extended family. I don’t always use their ideas (sometimes they are stupid, impractical, or overly expensive). But more often than you think, ideas are perfect. In these cases, I not only saved a little creative energy by trying to think of all the gifts myself, but I also reminded my children that giving and receiving go hand in hand (and both can be equally satisfying).
If you’re thinking of trying something similar with your kids to refocus them on giving rather than receiving this holiday season, here are some tips to help make your efforts more successful.
1. Start near home
Since our first attempt was by accident, the aunt was our experimental guinea pig; but if your kids have never had to think about Christmas gifts for other people before, I would recommend starting with siblings or parents. They know these people better than anyone else, so it won’t be so difficult for them to imagine what kind of gifts would work. In addition, they will see givers use or enjoy gifts more often, which increases the pleasure of giving.
In our home, my sons choose one gift every Christmas for each of their brothers and sisters. They usually know exactly what their brothers will like, and giving out these “brotherly gifts” is always the first thing my kids want to do on Christmas morning.
2. Make a list of likes
If your child is struggling to come up with ideas, it can be helpful to have them make a list of what the assigned person likes – activities, food, hobbies, even their favorite color or movie. Seeing all of this on paper can be a surprising number of potential gifts.
For example, your children may not think of what to give their grandmother until they remember that she likes to knit and purple; from there, they probably won’t have much trouble picking out a new purple knit yarn as a gift.
3. Feel free to redirect
Yes, you want your child to feel like the gift idea really belongs to him because it really affects giving or receiving. But the greatest satisfaction with a gift comes from knowing that you are giving the giver a gift that he will absolutely love, and for that you may need a guiding hand.
You can gently (!) Suggest your uncle a super weird “red baseball hat with a Tyrannosaurus head” idea for his uncle for something more tame (like a baseball hat featuring his favorite sports team). logo or even “The best uncle of the world” on it).
4. Involve them in the process.
Giving someone a gift is not just physically giving it – you have to choose it, buy it, and package it. Involve your child in the gift-giving process from start to finish: take him to the store (or ask him to shop online), get his opinion on the actual product selection, help him settle the bill, and then help him pack it. before the big day.
By the time your child finally presents his gift with his awkwardly glued bag containing an item he invented and (mostly) obtained himself, he will have many achievements that he will feel good about – and will appreciate even more. it. act of donation.