Best Dating App I’ve Tried This Year
Frustrated with Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, OKCupid and Her, in September I complained to a friend that dating apps were getting tiresome for me. They asked me if I had heard of Feld. For some reason I didn’t.
I don’t know why, because the application has been around for a long time and has been widely reported. Perhaps this is because of his reputation for encouraging threesomes and kinky sex, and fewer people are willing to advertise their interest in these pursuits rather than “regular” dating. But why?
Everyone has different reasons for using dating apps, but many of them boil down to this: “I want to have sex.” This sex can be with a constant loving partner or a range of shorter term partners, loving or not. Or both! It’s a big world. I would like to meet someone whom I truly adore and who I want to be with; Meanwhile, sex really takes the edge off. Drop your stiffness and join me on Feeld, date mates.
I downloaded the app within an hour of discovering it and started swiping. It’s been about four months now and I really think this is the best dating app I’ve ever been to (aside from the awful glitchiness of its chat feature). The reasons are possibly more varied than you might think.
You can find out in great detail what you are doing
Feeld allows people to define very precisely who they are and what they are interested in, which means that most of the people participating in it have thought about it. The people on the app share a basic level of understanding of the many varieties of gender and sexual identity that you won’t find in most other dating apps unless they’re geared towards the LGBT community. Nobody ever writes to me and asks what it means when I say that I am pansexual. My profile says that “cis-hat men” are the last in my circle of interests, and this does not annoy anyone either. Even cis-hat men – they still write to me.
People actually communicate
A lot of people on Feeld are just looking for connections, but you know what? It’s the same with most people on every dating app – they’re just not being honest about it. I joked with friends that when you talk candidly about sex with someone on Tinder, they react like a cartoon wolf: overly aroused, no cold.
On Feeld, you can ask someone what they are passionate about and they will answer you. It’s a real relief not to have a booze farce with someone just to say they’re not looking for anything serious before trying to kiss you. And since some people do very specific things, they understand very well what it is. This allows everyone to enter into an agreement with a clearer understanding of what each side wants. Communication is the first step towards agreement.
You feel comfortable setting substantial boundaries
Feld is far from perfect. It is inhabited by all the same eccentrics who are now sitting around you in the coffee shop. I don’t want to date most of them. My profile is very clear about what I do, what I am looking for and what I am not. This makes it much easier to see at the very beginning of the conversation who respects these desires and who does not.
Through trial and error, I’ve learned more about what I’m comfortable with just by talking to people. Women, in particular, are taught to play down their discomfort in order to be polite. On Feeld, I never apologize to someone if they say something strange or hostile. While in other apps I might think, “Eh, people are embarrassed to communicate with text,” I more often say “no” on Feeld. “No” to people who are not interesting to me. “No” to what I don’t want to do.
I have no time for those who cannot speak to me respectfully, thoughtfully, or reasonably, without taking into account what I directly said about myself. It has become easier and easier to abandon these people, and I have no regrets.
Interesting to explore
Truth be told, I’m not really a pervert. I could only have vanilla sex for the rest of my life if chemistry and skill were involved. But I don’t need it, and I’m happy to try a lot of things. If I like someone and have a special fantasy, experimenting is fun. You may be surprised at what turns you on, or at least enjoy the playfulness of trying something new. This can happen in any app, but again, Feeld helps people say what they want, sooner rather than later – like when you’ve already met their parents.
New capabilities build confidence both online and offline.
No, I’m not really a pervert, but in the spirit of perception of new things, I positioned myself on Feeld as a person. Without going into details, my profile advertises a certain type of partner, short term or long term. In a typical dating app, I’m just a lady among many other women; people judge my appearance, maybe my sense of humor, and whether I love Ophis or not.
On Feeld, I have this personality that is very attractive, among other things, and this is a strong feeling. It may not be a reaction to all the kinks, but getting a lot of messages from people who are happy to meet me is great. This is such a refreshing contrast to Bumble’s haphazard “hello”. I transferred this feeling into the real world and in general I felt more attractive and confident.
You could have a lot of sex
Yes, the best thing about Field is that I enjoyed sex a lot. It’s definitely not guaranteed, but when I’m in the mood it’s not hard to find a couple of interesting encounters. If casual sex isn’t what you want, Feeld may not be for you, although I see a lot of people looking for long-term partners there. Be honest with yourself about what you want, honest in your profile, and honest in your conversation. Field may reveal to you that many more people want the same thing than you thought.