Have a Grape Surgery Cocktail to Celebrate the Best Meme of 2018
Service journalism is about writing for other people, but sometimes I use this platform of mine to write myself 250 to 1000 words of jokes. This is one of those moments. I don’t know if you’re familiar with all the dank memes of 2018, but none of them tickled my chest like ” They did grape surgery .”
If you don’t get your appeal, I won’t be able to explain it to you, but I would like to. I’ve already alienated a few loved ones with my enthusiasm for grape surgery. (Although, oddly enough, my father was unfazed and tried to knock me out with stories about the PEACH operation.)
Anyway. This cocktail allows me to combine my love for this perfect meme and my love for Concorde grape juice, a childhood staple that brings me great comfort and makes my mouth happy. (Warning: anyone talking shit about Concord grape juice runs the risk of being blocked.) Instead of trying to find an alcohol that complements or enhances the juice, I opted to use vodka, a neutral-tasting alcohol, because grape juice doesn’t need improvement. … There’s also some grenadine – use a homemade drug if possible – to add a little astringency, but mostly because it looks like the blood that’s usually part of surgery. To make it you will need:
- 1 ounce vodka
- 2 ounces Concord grape juice
- 1 bar spoon of grenadine, plus more to drip onto the glass to simulate a gruesome surgery scene
Mix the juice and vodka in a glass with ice and stir. I mean, I think you could shake it up, but let’s be honest – you don’t have to get this precious. Add a spoonful of grenadine and stir again. Pour some more grenadine into a small glass and drizzle over it. Exclaim: “THEY OPERATED THE GRAPES!” and a toast to Mem 2018.