Create a Jar “I Want” for All Your Little Child’s Desires
Many children reach the stage where they want everything in the early years of preschool. Toys that you know they will never play with, games that they probably won’t like, and items that are either too young or too old for them. Basically everything is shiny or colorful.
(The funniest part is when this phase comes right after a birthday or big gift-giving holiday.)
The co-host of one of my favorite parenting podcasts, One Bad Mother , is going through this with her son right now. It got so bad that he melted himself with the desire for something new, “2-3 times a day, every day, for a while,” – said Biz Ellis on an episode of the show on February 7th .
It seems that she did everything right: she did not obey his demands, understood his feelings, while explaining that he could not have this and that AND THIS right now. But the tantrums continued. Finally, her own therapist gave her the idea of creating an “I Want” jar that would hold all of his worldly desires.
The next time her son started explaining how desperate he was for a new Transformers toy, she gave up on the I Want can:
I say, “How about we write it down on a piece of paper and only keep it in the bank for what you REALLY want” … and (he) replies, “YES, that would be great.” The jar is now full, but … he knows we know what he wants (because) there is a place to put it.
This is especially good for young children who are not yet keeping track of what they want on their wishlist, but simply need visual confirmation that their wishes are not lost or forgotten.