How Successful People Deal With Rejection at Work
Successful people don’t learn to avoid rejection, but learn to deal with it, learn from it, and even turn it into a new opportunity. We spoke to some of our favorite successful people – former guests on Lifehacker’s How I Work column – about how they deal with rejection at work.
Anjali Bhimani , actress:
Ahahaha, as an actress, the question is more, “What is NOT the rejection you face in your job?” because rejection probably occurs in one form or another on a daily basis and is often not very kindly expressed.
For me personally, one of the best ways to deal with this (even if it doesn’t completely eliminate frustration, if that’s the job I really wanted) is to make sure I don’t exacerbate the rejection by giving up myself. It’s very easy, especially as an artist, to take it personally when they don’t want you to be in the role, and it’s vital for me to always remember to be kind to myself and not internalize feedback if it’s useless. criticism. Especially when it’s just plain wrong (for example, when the casting director said that I was not hired because of my “Indian intonation” when I spoke in my American-born and raised American voice). Just because someone thinks I’m too this or that, or not enough of this or that, doesn’t mean it’s categorically true, and more often than not, I know there are other considerations / forces that I don’t know anything about.
Sometimes giving up one job just means that the people in the room like me, but they can’t use me here, and they end up bringing me back for something else. Therefore, the most important thing for me to be able to pass by each one of them is to be my inner champion, to be kind to myself and to have compassion for people who also try so hard to do their job, choosing those they consider right for the role. so that what comes to me from the outside does not enter my head. Reviews are not so much about me as a person, but about me, as a specific product that may or may not be suitable for the buyer at the present time. Sometimes it still hurts, but not as much as at the beginning of my career when I thought it was a referendum on my talent, my career, or my whole being.
Ben Ho , behavioral economist:
As a scientist, your career depends a lot on how well your articles are accepted in leading journals, and what you don’t see on anyone’s resume (academic resume) are all the rejection letters they received along the way. It is actually enough to receive acceptance letters from 5 or 6 eligible magazines in 6 years to get a position. In leading journals, admission rates are expressed in single digits. It’s okay to get dozens of rejections along the way.
A very typical reaction to rejection is to hide from it. This is the # 1 mistake that junior teachers make. We always have so much to do with other projects and training that it’s easy to just leave this rejection letter unopened or leave the printout under a pile of stuff on your desk. The best advice I’m trying to give to junior teachers is to correct whatever you can from the feedback in the letters and resubmit them to another journal as soon as possible. It is very easy to let these things slide for 6 months or a year. This is mistake.
It doesn’t relieve pain. To do this, I remind myself of social science research that luck is the most important factor in life. (See The work of two of my former colleagues: Bob Frank ‘s recent book on luck , and Tom Gillovich’s excellent recent article on tailwind and headwinds. ). It’s easy to see rejection as an attack on your self-esteem. I try not to do this. Most importantly, I remind myself that my kids will never know or care what is on my resume, and they are most important anyway.
Oh, and “Shake it Off” by Taylor Swift.
Morra Aarons-Mel , author and business consultant:
I own a professional services business and earn a living, so I get turned down about once a week when a prospect chooses not to hire my firm, chooses another firm, or (worst of all) decides not to renew.
I’ve been doing this job for over 20 years, with many victories, but every time a potential client chooses someone else, I take it personally. But worst of all, I can assume that one rejection means very bad news for my business. I inflate things catastrophically and inflate them.
So I practice visualizing abundance, not scarcity, and it really helps me maintain proportion.
I tell myself, “There is always more cake.” Scarcity is fighting for one tiny piece of the pie because that’s all you think you deserve. Lose this piece and no cake for you!
People who have come from abundance do not allow “no” to violate the solid inner core of who they are. Always more pie! They are confronted with “no” and assume that “yes” is just around the corner.
So the next time a “no” makes you question the viability of your entire financial future or existence, brush it off. Instead of dwelling on no, force yourself to be generous and expansive. Imagine a beautiful freshly baked cake and say to yourself, “It’s okay. There is much more. “
Jamia Wilson , Director of Feminist Press:
I am often faced with rejection as a nonprofit CEO in a competitive fundraising environment, as a writer who presents his work to magazines, agents, and editors, and as a publisher who seeks to sign authors who often weigh options with other publishers. …
While it may seem trivial when you are restoring your ego in the face of frustration, giving up can be a form of defense against something that doesn’t align with your goal or path at a particular point in life. time. Refusal helps me clarify where to spend my time and energy. It allows me to focus on opportunities and relationships that prioritize my values and strengths.
Sam Reich , Commercial Director, CollegeHumor:
At CollegeHumor, about 50% of drafts are greenlighted – and we wish we had to give up the other 50%. Sometimes the reason is as simple as “too high an R rating,” while other times various other factors come into play. With that in mind, we kicked off a segment of our new CollegeHumor podcast where we read these rejected sketches aloud. What we didn’t expect was that it would give sketches a second life. Last week, when we read Rekha Shankar’s sketch of The Secret Meat, we all agreed that it should go straight to production.