Stop Calling Vegetable Boards Steaks
I don’t have a favorite food. In fact, I’m not sure how I would classify such a thing at all, since what I want to eat varies quite a bit depending on the situation I’m in. But there is one food that I have constantly eaten with enthusiasm from I still grew in my teeth, and this food is steak.
Now, when you read the word “steak”, you immediately understand what I mean. You knew I was referring to a thick piece of red meat cut into a plank shape. You also probably assumed that the meat came from a cow. Maybe if you are a hunter you were wondering if I meant venison. You never thought I meant cauliflower.
Words mean different things, and no matter how hearty, hearty, or rich in minds a vegetable is, it’s just not a steak. Think of it this way: have you ever seen “chicken steak” on the menu? No, because even a juicy, expertly marinated and cooked chicken breast with a beautifully browned crust is not the same as a piece of red meat. (However, there are tuna steaks that suit me oddly.) But if I showed you a piece of chicken and a piece of cauliflower and asked, “What’s more like a piece of cow?” you have to say “chicken” because that’s true at the cellular level. Yet in many recipes and on many menus, this is what is most unlike a steak, which is called a steak.
This is madness.
This is not to say that vegetables don’t deserve to be eaten. I love plant-based foods, and I’m not the type to ask you where beef is. The most boring type of guy is the dudes who comment on an article about a great vegetarian dish “maybe if you throw in some bacon.” (And this is always dude.) What makes vegetables good is different from what makes meat good, and having to design a vegetable so that a meat eater can treat it is offensive to both vegetables and humans. who loves them.
A slice of fried eggplant will never look like animal meat. This is good. In fact, if you don’t like eating animal meat, that’s great. The key to making a great vegetable dish is understanding and respecting the vegetable and letting it be itself rather than forcing it to play a role it was never meant to be. No amount of pickling, grilling, or rebranding will convince a carnivore that a thick piece of cabbage can replace his ribs. In fact, by using the word “steak,” you invite a comparison that makes the recipe play out. (I suppose a vegetarian doesn’t want vegetables to resemble meat to them, just as a meat-eater would never accept a cauliflower plank instead of a real steak.) It’s my fault of course. in trying to convince people the vegetable recipe was worth trying, but I’m trying to be the best. I’m sure I used the phrase “you don’t miss the meat.” (I am sure that no one was deceived, and it is possible that the meat was actually missed).
If you really want to eat more vegetables and inspire people to eat more vegetables, you must learn to appreciate them for what they are, and not compare them to what they are not.