How to (Thankfully) Return to Work After Maternity Leave
After spending some wonderful, exhausting months at home with my newborn son Max, I came back blinking in the sun (or rather my LED desk lamp) trying to get back to work. It is unpleasant. When do I pump? How can I catch up? And after spending so many days with a tiny creature that only responds with farting and gurgling, how can I even communicate with people ?
Here are some of the best tips I’ve found for those in this phase, both from my own experience and from the wise parents in the Offspring Facebook group . Note. Many of the tips here apply to those who work in traditional 9 to 5 jobs. We’ll be diving deeper into parenting leave for freelancers soon.
During the last week (or so) of maternity leave
Expand your childcare options
“Don’t go back to work the same day you drop your toddler from kindergarten for the first time,” writes a mom named Menno. “You will cry.” Instead, if you can rock, start creating new childcare about a week before your return date. This gives you a chance to get in the habit of separating from the baby and fix any kinks in your daily routine. (You don’t want kindergarten to call on your first day back and say that little Stanley has already drunk all the milk you brought him, and is there anything else he can eat?)
The week before my return, I had a babysitter and it was a good opportunity for me to get out of the house and do some boring but necessary tasks like getting a dental crown and changing oil. During this time, our nanny also miraculously taught the baby to drink from a bottle, which we struggled with for several weeks, so I could return to work knowing that our baby would not starve to death. However you use those extra childcare days, you’ll be glad you have that buffer.
Putting together your wardrobe after giving birth
This task is likely to be a little depressing, but it needs to be done: try on work clothes to see what else works, and then get everything else out of sight. If what you have left is temporary enough, great. If not, collect what you need. Mom named Jennifer writes: “Go to a consignment store or somewhere cheaper to find a few things that you can turn into a rotating work wardrobe, because otherwise you will have at least one morning in the first week when you are sad , get angry and tired. and then you put on a skirt that you think should fit, but it doesn’t fit, and you will cry in the shower (or maybe it’s just me). ”
Expressing milk at work will put even more restrictions on your clothing. To these moms Jennifer adds: “No dresses! There is nothing better than sitting in a toilet stall with a dress around your neck and pumping milk for 15 minutes. “
Tidy up your non-work routines
Or, as a mom named Clovis put it, “Organize your life, damn it.” She writes: “Arrange baby clothes to size in the warehouse so they can be easily replaced as the baby grows up. If possible, do the diaper delivery process automatically. Make a two-week meal plan. Shop for the holiday if it’s the second half of the year. ” Basically, your work life can seem grueling for a while, so try to automate your home life as much as possible.
Check with your manager about the transfer logistics
If you plan on expressing milk, make sure a pump room is available for you (assuming you don’t have your own office). It is also important to know your legal protection. Fairygodboss explains, “Your employer is required by law to provide employees with a non-toilet space and make reasonable accommodations for the time you need to express.” Here is a map of breastfeeding rights at work by state.
Visit the office with your baby
This is optional, but it’s nice to introduce your colleagues to your baby. First, a cute little person in the office, and second, people are more likely to meet your needs if your situation seems real. (Plus, if you have work friends, you probably miss them a lot – so you might as well go out to lunch and dive into office gossip.)
I did it with my first child, and this day calmed me down. Everyone was happy to see me and excited about meeting my little girl, and I no longer felt guilty about the absence. (I know there is no reason to feel guilty, but still.)
Do your morning routine workout
Preparing, pumping, feeding, collecting baby supplies, transporting your baby to daycare, commuting to work and then pumping again will likely take longer – much longer than you expect. I remember how, after the birth of my first child, I returned to work and wrote to a friend: “My God, I got up at 5 in the morning and finally got to the office at 10. What kind of life is this?”
On your first day at work
Make sure it’s Wednesday
In my opinion, one of the best tips on this topic is to get back to work in the middle of the week – Wednesday is perfect. A mom named Lauren explains: “You will be a jaded wreck and a short week will be salvation.”
Lock the rollout time on your calendar
And don’t let anyone plan for it. Lauren takes it one step further. “Be very honest about pumping,” she says. “With my first one, I felt like I had to hide it or be careful, and this led to people trying to schedule appointments that contradicted my blocked time and had to put my needs on the back burner. After the second dose, I decided to try to normalize it and spoke loudly and openly about pumping and breast milk. People gave me a lot more space and attention – perhaps because they wanted me to stop saying “breasts,” but hey, I’ll take that! “
Bring pumping supplies
Some elements that members of the Offspring Facebook group found helpful include:
- Second pump and pump parts kit for office storage.
- Wireless hands-free pump like Willow , Freemie and Elvie (waiting list) .
- Alternatively, you can use a hands-free inflating bra like this one from Simple Wishes.
- Mini fridge for your booth. (You can keep milk away from your coworkers’ old lunch bags, store pump parts in the refrigerator all day, and not have to worry about taking the milk home every night.)
- Do Not Disturb label for your pump room.
Make an appointment with your manager (and anyone else who can help you catch up)
In these chats, ask if there were any big events or big changes when you weren’t there – no need to rephrase the notes of every missed meeting. It’s also a good idea to show up at the HR department, tell them you’re back, and ask if there are any paperwork you need to fill out.
A few weeks and months after your return
Be gentle with yourself
This is a difficult, vulnerable time. Allow yourself to feel the surge of emotion that comes with returning to work. You may feel rusty. (I’ve identified with this tweet for several weeks.) You can cry. You might want to shout, “Freedom!” at the moment of leaving the garage. You may feel on edge. You definitely feel tired. Perhaps you just want to plunge into sweat again. Everything is fine.
Celebrate small wins by sipping your office coffee in great silence. Then turn around to talk to your cab mate about anything other than the color of baby poop and what that means.