The Picky Eater’s Feeding Guide

Does your child ask for the same thing at every meal? Does she refuse to eat if her fruit touches a chicken nugget? These scenarios are familiar to parents of picky eaters, and to be honest, almost all parents of toddlers. It’s stressful to worry that your child is eating poorly or that outsiders are evaluating their daily macaroni and cheese diet.

Maybe this will help to understand why children do not want to eat something new. As Dan Pashman, host of The Sporkful podcast, pointed out, shouldn’t a child be wary of putting unfamiliar things in their mouths ? If we left our picky eaters to survive in the wild, they would be more likely to avoid poisoning .

Expect children to go through a slow, repetitive process before completely eating new foods . For several exposures, they could initially only look at new food. Then, when they get used to it, they will touch it, play with it, lick or bite and spit it out before actually eating it. Consider any interaction with food as progress.

Try to understand how weird and intimidating your child might find the experience of a new meal. Remember when you first tasted raw oysters? Oh, have you ever tasted raw oysters? Why not? Because they are scary and weird? Here’s how some kids feel about vegetables, meat, or cuts.

If you’d like to explore all the expert advice in detail, Amazon currently sells hundreds of books on food pickiness . You can read them until your child graduates from college, but these tips all boil down to a few basic strategies.

Decide who is in charge of each part of the eating process

Nutritionist Ellen Sutter advocates “sharing responsibilities” in the dynamics of adult and child nutrition. According to Sutter, parents should choose and prepare meals on a regular schedule, make meals enjoyable, and be examples of good mealtime behavior. The child must decide for himself how much to eat, learn to eat what he is offered, and learn to behave well when eating.

Offer one meal for the whole family

The key is to make sure the food includes what everyone likes. Based on this, your tone and actions both set an example and encourage you to try new things with an open mind.

Stick to a schedule

If meals and snacks are at the same time every day, your child has a chance of getting hungry and less able to demand from the menu. (In theory, anyway.)

Be social

You want your kids to see others enjoying a variety of foods and to have the courage to try new things. It may not be possible to get the whole family to eat at the same time every night. When can you come together? Two dinners a week? Sunday morning? Even eating with a parent or sibling can help.

Make food fun

As much as I wish the food was clutter-free, my reluctant eater is free to play with her food. She needs to touch and break it in order to learn to perceive different textures. Less messy ways to entertain yourself include serving sauces with vegetables or preparing dishes according to shapes and faces.

• Ostensibly for children like frozen vegetables . Can’t wait to try this tip. Imagine your picky kid is happy to eat frozen peas and you don’t even have to cook them, then wait for them to cool, then pick them up off the floor, and then hide out defeated.
• Turn witchcraft hour into vegetarian happy hour . Have your kids dress up and then hand the plate over to the crudite. Just thinking about it makes me want to eat vegetables.
• Use a “flavor plate” for new foods. Sometimes a full meal can be intimidating. There are very few things you can offer on the tasting plate (and make sure nothing touches!)

Don’t force it

Creating a negative feeding experience will only backfire. I shove many spoons into the mouth of a six month old just to get a toddler who refuses to use a spoon. This does not mean that we parents are to blame for our picky food. But it’s good to know what actions can help or worsen the situation.

Do not bargain

You know, “If you try broccoli, you can eat ice cream.” Experts say this trick will only strengthen the child’s confidence that vegetables are undesirable and the real goal is dessert. To be honest, I have said many times, “No, you cannot eat cookies / popsicle / ice cream until you finish dinner.” I can’t even comprehend the alternative: “Here are your cookies and tomatoes, but I have no opinion on which ones you eat and in what order.” Again, I’m not an expert, just another mom trying to figure it out.

Finally, relax

As Pashman told us: “Don’t worry about this! We just did The Sporkful podcast titled In Defense of Picky Eaters . Choice in food is so common, especially among children between the ages of three and six, that it can hardly be called choosy. If your child is growing up and the pediatrician says that everything is fine with him, that’s okay. “

But trust your intuition. If you are concerned that your child is not growing, is nutritionally deficient, or has sensory or developmental problems that go beyond “picky,” be sure to talk to your pediatrician. Problems that go beyond normal choices include OCD, anorexia, and avoidant / restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID). A professional can either reassure you that everything is in order, or refer you to a feeding specialist who can take a closer look at it.