Make a Giant Jar of Giant Pickles With Giant Squash

I don’t have a garden, but I have a lot of gardening friends, which means I enjoy free groceries during the summer months. Some gifts, such as two pounds of blackberries or lots of ripe tomatoes, are welcome, but a recent offering – one zucchini – had a vague troll vibe.

As you can see in the aforementioned Instagram post – which I included to illustrate the scale – this thing was pretty big. (You can also see how reserved I am about everything that everyone should appreciate.)

The reason my friend gave me this hippo made sense. “I just want to see what you come up with,” she said in an indifferent tone. Huge zucci are usually soft and watery, with woody seeds and cotton flesh. Cooking one of them rarely comes down to stewing and enjoying. At first I thought I’d treat it like eggplant – maybe make Parmesan or something like that – but then I remembered Hamburger Stackers.

The premise behind the Hamburger Stackers is simple, and the ad above perfects it with 15 seconds and one word (“aha”). If your pickle is too small for your burger, just use a larger pickle. This is the exact opposite of my usual approach of keeping everything smaller , but having something like covering an entire hamburger or sandwich with one slice of pickled cucumber calms me down.

By chance – or by fate – the pumpkin slice was just the right size for such a marinade. But because it was so large and soft, pickling had to be a two-step process, starting with a simple salting. Sprinkling each slice with a few pinches of salt and letting it sit for half an hour or so removed excess moisture, softened the pulp (and seeds), and added some flavor. Then the bread and butter pickle was added as I really want ham sandwiches lately and the bread and butter pickles are excellent with the pickled ham. (You can use any pickle recipe you like; just be sure to pre-salt as described.) The pickles I took out of the refrigerator were pliable but crunchy, seasoned but not quite salty, and large enough to coat any sandwich or burger. To make these absolute stackers yourself, you will need:

  • Zucchini 2 pounds
  • Salt (approximately 1/4 teaspoon per slice)
  • One head of garlic, peeled and crushed
  • 2 cups apple cider vinegar
  • 2 cups white sugar
  • 3 teaspoons mustard powder
  • 1 teaspoon turmeric
  • 1/2 teaspoon black pepper

Cut the courgettes into 1/8-inch slices, then sprinkle about 1/8 teaspoon of salt on each side of each slice. Place all slices in a bowl and let sit for half an hour. Stir the slices after about 15 minutes until the tops are the bottom. Once the zucchini has become stiff, drain the salted water and transfer the slices to a large jar along with the garlic.

Add the rest of the ingredients to the saucepan and bring to a boil. Stir to dissolve the sugar, then pour the hot brine liquid over the zucchini. Cover the jar loosely, let it warm to room temperature, then close the jar and place it in the refrigerator overnight to cool.

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