Why All This ‘Health’ Is Making You Feel Even More Burned Out
The phrase ” get ready with me ! “ sends shivers down my spine. Somewhere between my gratitude journal and my seventh morning supplement, “health” has ceased to be a refuge and has become just another item on my to-do list. And when I don’t complete the items on my list, I’ve developed a new way to experience failure in my daily life. I’m burning out trying to prevent burnout; I’m worried I’m not doing enough anxiety-reducing practices; I’m tired of all my “energy” protocols. All the self-care that’s supposed to “restore” me is completely draining. I’ve reached the wellness culture paradox, and I can’t be alone.
Self-help monitoring status
Emily Austin, author of Smarter: 10 Lessons for a More Productive, Less Stressful Life , has witnessed this transformation firsthand. She describes how wellness has become a “new productivity theater,” where people “drown in self-improvement lists—journaling, breathing exercises, 10-mile walks, meditation, supplements, skincare—and still continue to show up to classes, feeling exhausted.” Wellness culture is a kind of performance, complete with its own costumes.
Particularly insidious is how self-care has become yet another measure of success. Austin notes that it “has become just another form of self-monitoring: something we do, post, and measure.” We’re not simply tracking our steps and sleep cycles for ourselves—we’re collecting evidence of our well-being for an audience, real or imagined.
And here we face the paradox of self-care. We know the culture of hustle and bustle is broken, yet we’re sold wellness as a solution… through even more hustle and bustle. Brands prey on our fatigue, selling hope in the form of adaptogens and morning rituals, promising relief for our “frazzled nervous system.”
Whether you consider your nervous system “fried” or not, most of us feel burned out in some way. And, as Austin reminds us, most of us “don’t have the luxury of taking a six-month vacation to recuperate.” The systems we create must work in accordance with our real lives, not some idealized version of them. Otherwise, they’re just expensive bandages on a wound that needs stitches.
The myth of the ideal routine
Alexis Haselberger, a time management and productivity coach, constantly encounters this well-being mythology in her practice. There’s a common belief that “self-care is a set of actions (yoga, meditation, morning pages, etc.), and if you don’t do them, you’re not taking care of yourself.”
She recalls a client who, after a time-tracking exercise, concluded that he wasn’t drinking enough water. Her response: ” How do you know? ” The subsequent conversation revealed the absurdity of following arbitrary rules —like the famous eight glasses of water—without considering one’s own body. “Do you feel dehydrated? Is your urine dark yellow? Are you constantly thirsty? No? Well, your water intake is probably fine.”
Even more telling is the phenomenon of people fighting their natural chronotype , trying to become early risers in order to have time to perform wellness rituals before work. Hazelberger sees “a great many” trying to reverse this, striving for an Instagram-worthy 5 a.m. routine, even though their bodies are tuned to a completely different rhythm.
How did we get to this debilitating state? Haselberger blames the “dystopian content machine” that bombards us with claims that one more wellness event will change everything. “People are already stressed, so they’re looking for a magic bullet.”
Instead, true self-care often involves subtracting, not adding. “No bubble bath or journaling will cure burnout,” says Haselberger. Rather, it’s about letting go of what’s not serving you, not piling on new obligations. Focus on protecting your boundaries, caring for your surroundings, and knowing when to stop.
The simplest solution
Katherine Morgan Schafler, psychotherapist and author of The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control , suggests a way out of this trap: simplicity and sustainability. Before embarking on any wellness practice, ask yourself two questions: Is it simple? Is it sustainable?
Take exercise, for example. Instead of hitting the gym, could you go for a walk? Maybe jump in place in your living room? Scheffler suggests asking yourself what you’d like to do “for the rest of your life,” not what you could do for six months, exhausting yourself in an “unsustainable rush that will lead to burnout.”
Here’s the resolution we all need: “You must engage in what’s called ‘enjoying life.'” Fun and pleasure aren’t just empty words; they’re essential for mental wellness. “Formal wellness practices that are taken too seriously and lack fun may not be beneficial,” says Schafler. “Trust in what you enjoy; if you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it.”
Perhaps the most radical act of self-care isn’t adding yet another supplement to your morning routine or waking up early to meditate. Perhaps it’s giving yourself permission to do less. Trust your body, not influencer advice, cherish your time, not optimize it, and choose true rest, not showiness .
Health should be restored, not depleted. If self-care feels like just another chore, it’s not caring, it’s obedience. And you can quit.