A Divorced Adult’s Guide to Kids’ Culture: What Is ‘Frozen Branding’?
Welcome to The Out-of-Touch Adult Guide to Kids Culture, where you’ve joined my new religious group just by reading this. This week, we’ll look at an online cult that’s become all too real, ask why young people are branding themselves with liquid nitrogen, and discuss the intergenerational stare-downs taking place on store shelves across the country. Plus, we’ll show a truly viral video about the dangers of giant screens.
Is Children of the Waning Star an Internet Cult?
If your child says they’ve joined a cult called the Children of the Waning Star, it’s not as bad as it sounds. The online group began on July 11, when TikToker Gigi Jarvis announced she was starting a cult “and you’re all going to be a part of it.” It was a joke, of course, but the video went viral on the platform, racking up millions of views, and the cult soon began to gain traction. Jarvis and her followers chose the name Children of the Waning Star, picked out special cult symbols, and announced new holidays. Jarvis even added ” cult leader ” to her resume. But then came the backlash.
Many commenters told Jarvis that cults are no laughing matter. Others, like this “ pagan witch,” posted videos of Waning Star “ getting out of control ” or turning into a full-blown cult. So Jarvis, less than a week after founding the group, announced the closure of the project. A week from cult to apology may be a world record.
I understand why they stopped, but I think it’s a shame. Jarvis clearly wasn’t trying to be a real cult leader, and the Children of the Waning Star isn’t the first (or 10,000th) parody religion ever created. There’s the Church of the SubGenius , the Pastafarians , the Discordian Society , and many others. None of them “got out of control” and became “real” cults, even though they’ve been around for decades. Instead, they serve a real purpose, giving people a place to think and talk about unusual belief systems, and perhaps providing tools to recognize the methods of real authoritarian groups so they can be avoided. Also: I really liked that Waning Star chose everything democratically. It would be interesting to see how the TikTok collective defines and codifies their spiritual beliefs.
What is frozen branding?
Cold branding, or cryobranding, is a method of marking livestock using cryogenic materials, usually liquid nitrogen. It is thought to be less painful and traumatic than heat branding. It was first used in the 1960s, and it wasn’t until 2021 that a case of cold branding on a human was described in the medical literature . The procedure has recently become popular among online body modification enthusiasts, and doctors have become more vocal about its use . It doesn’t seem to be that common, though. Yet.
“You’re not a horse,” dermatologist Dr. Andrea Suarez (known online as Dr. Dray ) reminds us in this TikTok video . “It can cause a deep burn, which puts you at risk for developing a deep infection called cellulitis.”
Dr. Dray is a bit of a bummer , but I suppose she’s right, and no one should ever brand themselves with liquid nitrogen because it’s really, really bad, but I can see why people would want to. The effects on livestock are impressive: cold branding animals destroys the pigmentation of the hair follicles, causing the hair and/or skin to turn white in the shape of a brand. There isn’t much serious discussion online about how or if it’s safe to cold brand people, but this video from another online doctor shows doctors using liquid nitrogen regularly, so it seems like it’s possible to cold brand people without catastrophic consequences.
What is the Gen Z gaze?
The term “Gen Z look” has been trending on and off social media this week. It refers to a blank expression that is thought to be characteristic of people between the ages of 13 and 28, and is particularly common amongretail workers . Gen Zers are said to respond to formulaic greetings and small talk with blank stares instead of a smile or nod.
While it’s not a new term — this video explaining the phenomenon is almost a year old — it’s gone viral recently. Is it a genuine shift in cultural behavior or a trendy online campaign of age-based nitpicking? It’s hard to tell when it comes to something as vague as people posting online, “The barista gives me weird looks when I order at Starbucks,” but it sounds more like the “older generation” (millennials) is exaggerating one of Gen Z’s defining characteristics.
It reminds me of the moral panic of generations past, when millennials rejected casual dining (and a hundred other things), noisy fried food , jenkem , rainbow parties , switchblades , and the “overly rakish” beat of Bing Crosby’s “ Deep in the Heart of Texas .” (To be fair, that shit is pretty damn rakish .) Also: If low-wage workers are looking down on older people, maybe they deserve it.
I’ve looked at the Gen Z perspective in more detail here .
Viral Video of the Week: Affair Makes It to the Big Screen Coldplay
It’s rare that the entire internet agrees on something, but this week everyone from baby boomers to Gen A responded to a viral video with the same response: “I’m glad I’m not one of those people.” I don’t think I need to explain it, but this is the most viral video you’ll ever see.
The video in question was filmed at a recent Coldplay concert in Massachusetts. It starts off innocently enough, with the camera panning to a couple embracing tenderly as the crowd cheers. But things quickly go awry when they realize they’re on a giant screen and start to panic. Their awkward attempts to duck and hide only serve to draw attention to the scene. Coldplay frontman Chris Martin even comments on the moment: “Oh, look at those two,” he says from the stage, before pausing and adding, “Either they’re having an affair or they’re just really shy.”
That was the first one, Chris.
The internet quickly identified the couple as Andy Byron, the CEO of tech company Astronomer, who is extremely married to a woman who is not Astronomer’s “chief human resources officer,” Christine Cabot. In the days that followed , former employees came forward to speak out about their former boss , Astronomer’s board of directors launched an investigation , more than 15 million people read about the event online (the same number as the Diddy trial), and Byron’s wife deleted family photos from Facebook.
As funny as this is, I can’t help but feel sorry for those involved. Imagine if everyone you knew — friends, family, coworkers, your second-grade teacher — had video evidence that you were at a Coldplay concert.